Ho-Ho-Horrifically Awful Family Christmas Photos
Christmas is a time to come together with your loved ones to celebrate the holidays and feel merry. Many people like to celebrate the occasion by creating Christmas cards to send to their friends and family far away, which, for the most part, is a beautiful gesture.
These people, however, found a way to turn a beautiful tradition into a photographic nightmare. One that we can't stop looking at. Come join the holiday fun and see what we're talking about.
It's Hard To Say Who's More Impressed Here
Everyone is out creating family portraits for the holidays, and this man and his cat weren't about to be left out in the cold. So, the guy grabbed his furry best friend and his finest sweater and made sure to pose for the camera.
Pose they did. Both man and cat totally nailed their poses, keeping somber looks on their faces as they gaze into the nothingness of the black backdrop.
No! No! No!
As your children get older, the family Christmas card grows with them. So instead of everyone gathering around the fireplace in their footie PJs, we got this. At least everyone looks comfortable, because I'm not sure I am.
I hope at the very least that this card was the young ladies' idea and not their father's. But wish someone had vetoed the whole thing before it got this far. This one is pretty high on the yikes! factor.
A Little Birdy Told Me That You Shouldn't Choke A Duck In A Christmas Card
If you removed all the birds from this Christmas card, it would actually be a nice, wholesome family photo. Too bad we have to watch this duck get choked out.
Is the duck at least smiling? We can't tell, but it would really be a shame if it was frowning since everyone else (including that loveable dog) has a huge grin on their face. They didn't even put a hat on the poor thing.
Evil Use Of Face Swap
Face Swap was created to make fun photos for people to laugh at due to their lack of likeness, not for families to create scary Christmas cards that will give their friends and family nightmares.
This wife made the mistake of telling her husband she wanted a "nice" family portrait for the holidays. This is the family that greets you at the entrance to the underworld and definitely not the "nice" photo she wanted.
Send Them Coal!
This is arguably the worst thing I have ever set my eyes on, and I'm not exaggerating. The photoshopped fur on the human legs is *barf sounds*. Someone give me holy water.
Joe, Mira, Buddy, and Gimli need to get their acts together and do a reasonable card next year. Something that won't horrify their friends and family. Maybe they could borrow the HO HO HO shirts we saw earlier.
Oh, Dear...
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen have nothing on this human reindeer. Although, a lot of butts had to go in faces during the making of this photo.
On the one hand, I find this human reindeer to be pretty funny, but there's definitely something nightmarish about it too. I think it's all the butts and the fact that the outfits they're wearing look a little bit dingy.
What In The...
Nowadays, the notion of the traditional nuclear family is disintegrating as people are starting to have more unconventional families. However, this "family Christmas photo" breaches a new level of uncharted territory.
The Daily Mail did a story on the trend of sending unusual Christmas cards and included this gem, saying "Instant family! This man posed with his dog and toy baby for his holiday card." Yes, that's a family alright.
This Outpouring Of Festivity
Taking a good family photo with a baby can be a real challenge between an infant's tendency to cry unexpectedly and never look at the camera. Or, you know, vomit.
The thing is... look at the baby's face! That's like the cutest smile ever! We actually bet it was the best of the entire photo shoot, so it's pretty funny that the parents decided to roll with it. They could have edited the vomit out, but where's the fun in that?
Do They Come With Red Lobster Biscuits Though?
I mean, in their defense, they did pick an animal that goes along with the color theme of the holiday, although they should have written "Merry Crustaceanmas" instead. I just want to know how long that makeup took to put on.
We're going to go out on a limb and say that they listen to the B-52's song "Rock Lobster" on repeat every day. If that's not their theme song, they're doing the whole lobster thing wrong.
A Rare Photo From The Year 0 BCE
There aren't a lot of live photos from the birth of Jesus because I'm pretty sure Joseph forgot to get the film developed before they moved, but here is one rare picture that a cow snapped.
Is it traditional for roomies or groups of friends to send group Christmas cards? It's not something we've heard of before but we're all for it if they're as funny and clever as this one is!
Nothing Like Kidnapping For A Fun Card!
With Christmas cards being a long-standing tradition for years, it's hard to think of a unique idea each year. This family went with the fun theme "what if our kids were kidnapped and gagged?"
Either the children were really bad this year or their parents just have a strange and dark sense of humor. We hope Grandma and Grandpa (and the department of child welfare!) were OK with this greeting card.
Mary, Joseph, and Doggo
I went to Sunday school throughout the entirety of my childhood, so I can confirm that Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem where they stayed in a barn overnight while adopting their dog.
They had a hard time finding the brand of dog food they wanted at the local PetSmart that first evening, making things extra difficult. But somehow they made everything work and this is where the term "glamping" originated.
That's A Wardrobe Selection For The Books
It's not that we aren't proud of you, sir—we really do love that you're clean!—but maybe Christmas isn't the best day of the year to whip that hoodie out. These two sweaters could not be any different if they tried. One is proudly stating a sobriety status while the other has a bunch of cuddly toys under a Christmas tree.
All that matters, we suppose, is that these two got to spend the holiday together.
This Is Modern Art
The photoshopped background with that stock icon of Santa with the reindeer kind of makes this awful card perfect in its own way. It's so bad that it's kind of beautiful.
We also love the cat's image in the sky, staring off into a space squirrel or whatever else it's seeing up there. The kitty looks pretty cute in the main image too, the way it's hugging its person's scarf. Aww.
A Werewolf Christmas
Are they howling, or just serenading the moon with their beautiful holiday carols? If only we could know. Perhaps this family currently visiting England and is letting their family and friends know about it in their holiday card, ala the song "Werewolves of London."
Whatever the true backstory here might be, let's just hope Christmas doesn't land on a full moon this year or this family could get into some serious trouble.
This Photo Is Full Of Threatening Energy
From the emotionless expressions on this couple's faces to the way they are holding their cats by the scruff of their necks, this photo has way too many ominous vibes for a Christmas card.
Those cats deserve some really special treats after being humiliated on Christmas like this. We know that's the way momma cats pick up their young but it really doesn't look like they're enjoying being held up by the humans in this photo.
Six Little Monkeys Jumping In The Christmas Card
Is it even legal to own this many monkeys? Why are they all dressed like that? This couple is giving off the most chaotic and frightening energy I've encountered in a long time.
Are the people even in the same photo? It's hard to tell what's going on here with all those monkeys confusing and distracting us. One thing we need to know is whether the monkeys get to pick out their own outfits. We hope so!
Can I Reverse Uno Card This Back To Them?
This is the type of Christmas card that any good post office worker would immediately stamp with "return to sender" so that no one would have to see this monstrosity. And apparently there's another family member on the way? It seems this Christmas card is doing double-duty as a pregnancy announcement, which is pretty classy.
How did they get the kids to look so terrified, or are those expressions real? We're just going to back away from this one slowly.
Not Fun At All
Jonathan, if you truly loved the people who know you, you never would have made this card or distributed it. Next time, just buy generic "Happy Holidays" cards at Target.
JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING! You keep on being you, Jonathan, because this card is amazing and we love it. We'd be thrilled to get something this ridiculous and personalized at Christmas, so please don't really cave and go the generic route.
What A Jarring Thing To Receive In The Mail
Do you know who signed up to receive a Christmas card like this? Absolutely no one. Instead of documenting another year of his children aging, this father turned them into criminals. Parenting at its finest.
The guy who makes these photoshopped cards every year wrote, "8 years of shopped family Christmas cards. My parents hate me. My kids will hate me more. Reddit, how did I do?" Maybe he should wait and ask his kids in a few years.
Santa Said, "Get These Monsters Away From Me!"
Taking your kids to see Santa at the local mall just seems like the right thing to do as a parent, until you remember that you also taught them to fear strangers.
Not only are the kids clearly terrified but take a closer look at Santa's face. He looks seriously worried about the situation. How far out of hand can this get? And is he liable for any emotional damages the kids end up with?
This Does Not Fill Me With Holiday Joy
There is a lot going on in this photo, from the bottles on the counter to the demon in the mirror, but my greatest concern is about her decision to have a mermaid tail.
This is Bridget, and she's famous for her Christmas cards. Her sister shares them online and people love them! One Redditor remarked that Bridget is "getting quite creative with her loneliness over the years." That's sounds kind of like a backhanded compliment, but it's sincere.
I Don't Know Who They Are But I Love Them
The person who shared this photo actually received this Christmas card as the result of there being the wrong address on it, but he sure was glad he got to see this.
It truly is a work of art. Since they posted it online, we bet there's a pretty good chance that the people in the card know about it. Maybe the two families have even met and share Christmas dinner together now. You never know.
Kids, Am I Right?
Honestly, this photo really encapsulates what it's like to have two kids who know how to get in trouble. I really respect them for basing their family photo around the chaos they face on the daily.
This card went viral, with headlines around the country such as "When Their Photo Shoot Failed, a Family Sent Out the Bloopers. Now, It's a Yearly Tradition." We love this tradition and are glad they're sticking to it.
Merry Christmas From Hogwarts!
While shooting the underwater scenes for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Daniel Radcliffe asked for a group photo with the cast and crew, and then later photoshopped antlers and red noses onto everyone and sent it out as a Christmas card.
Talk about forethought! If this didn't actually happen around Christmastime and he was already thinking ahead to the holidays, then the man has some serious planning skills. Maybe he should've been an event coordinator.
I Think I Recognize Him From The Mall!
It can be hard to put together a wholesome Christmas card when living single while the rest of your loved ones actually have other loved ones, but Bridget won't let any of that get in her way!
Bridget's not a failure by any means. In fact, we think that she totally wins at Christmas. You go, Bridget, be your funny self. It looks like a better time than those perfectly-posed mall portraits.
Wait, Where Did She Get A Chicken?
Bridget is back at it again! This time, she's subbed out her man(nequin) for a chicken and a few bottles of wine, but she's still sending out the same chaotic vibes. Just note the desperate command for everybody out there to love Bridget.
She's single, but not ready to mingle over the holidays. Seriously though, we're glad that Bridget has met her chicken BFF. They're sure to have a nice holiday as long as they're together.
Happy Holidays From These Roommates!
This trio and their dog look like they're about to drop the hottest album of the year as a boyband from 1997. I just wish my roommates and I got along like this when I was younger.
The possibilities would have been endless, but I know we would have done a card that celebrated the time that our heater went out in the middle of winter and it was 30 degrees in the house for a month. Those were festive times.
What A Beautiful Tree!
The people in this photo all work at a photography studio in Norway and they figured, why would you pose for Christmas card photos in front of a Christmas tree when you can become one?
On one hand, we find this human tree to be kind of hilarious, and we really do admire their teamwork. On the other hand, we think we will probably have some serious nightmares about this "tree."
I Can See The Family Resemblance
While living alone before the holidays, this woman decided to complete all the poses for her "family" photo and used her old friend, Photoshop, to put them all together. My favorite family member is the cat who clearly does to want to be involved.
If we were going to try something like this, we'd probably include about 15 versions of the cat. Including one of kitty using the litter box. That's just how we roll.
From A Galaxy Far, Far Away...
I don't know what's more impressive in this amazing photo: the fact that this galaxy-themed Christmas card has such an interesting background or that this woman managed to get matching grey turtlenecks for all of them.
They're all living in the future, man, and we're stuck here on Planet Earth just opening Christmas cards like the boring people we are. It's not fair. Send us to outer space to join this crew, please.
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
When his mom told him to "sober up" and start sending his own Christmas cards to his family and friends, he started making annual greeting cards that look like this. This one is from 2016.
The holidays can be such a stressful time. Thank goodness for alcohol and eggnog and your mom telling you to sober up after having too much to drink. And for having a safe space to pass out and sleep it off.
An Actual Wholesome Photo For The Finale
I don't know how these two found a matching turtleneck to fit their feline pal, but I commend them for doing it. From the fondue to the fireplace, this is a perfect Christmas card.
We would not mind hopping right into this scene and getting cozy with these people and that adorable cat (which is also sporting a turtleneck). Plus, it's been a while since we've had fondue! Sign us up for this.
This Was Mom's Idea
We can all tell just by looking at Dad's face that this family in boxes idea was Mom’s. His face screams "what the hell are we doing, why did I agree to this."
Well, Dad, you signed up for this the day you said: “I do”. So smile big because you made this bed. At least this photo has a theme. A little further down the list, you’ll find a family that couldn’t decide which holiday it was celebrating.
Elf On A Shelf
This has to be the most wholesome Elf on the Shelf pictures I have ever seen in my life. The ones I'm used to seeing all involve some sort of deviant behavior, which is perfect for my depraved sense of humor.
I’m telling you, the Elf on the Shelf I know isn’t some fun-loving character. He’s a real sick puppy. You have to keep things as G-rated as possible when kids are involved.
Killing Two Birds With One Picture
Here's an easy way to save money this Christmas. Next time you go in to take your family portrait be sure to include items from all the major religious holidays, that way you only have to use one picture for Christmas and Easter cards.
Talk about thrifty. This family knows what’s up. If you thought this was funny, wait till you see what one family on this list did to make their dog feel more included.
Run For Your Life
Some kids are deathly afraid of clowns, others are traumatized by drunk fat men at shopping malls who dress in red outfits, stink of whiskey and laugh way too much. Which do you think is the more rational fear? I'm going to say the latter. This kid is clearly going places.
The best news for the parents is they don’t have to worry about Christmas shopping or their son now. He’s too scared of the holiday to celebrate it.
Taking One For The Team
Poor doggo was forced to wear a cone on Christmas to keep him from licking his junk. Mom and Dad decided they'd wear one too to show young Ruffles he was part of the family and that if he suffers they all suffer together.
That’s what Christmas spirit is all about is it not? Wrong! If the pictures on this list have taught me anything it’s that Christmas has no rules. You’ll get the impression further on down the list.
C'mon Man
The Heisman pose? Really? I always knew Seahawks fans were the worst but this is starting to get out of hand. The self-proclaimed "12th Man" strikes again with this Seahawks-themed family Christmas photo wherein Dad is striking the revered Heisman trophy pose. Yikes!
Did you know that every time Seattle uses the “12th Man” they have to pay Texas A&M? That school originated the moniker and owns the copyright to it.
Cute!
Once a momma's boy always a momma’s boy, I guess. In his defense, this looks like a super comfortable setting. This couple looks like they don’t have plans to do anything but sit by the fire and watch hours worth of classic Christmas specials.
That sounds like a great plan honestly. I know what I’m doing tonight. Lighting a fire, making some hot cocoa, and turning on The Santa Clause.
The Three Scrooges
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Moe, Curly and Shemp get all decked out in candy cane themed scarfs and don matching top hats to take the cringiest Christmas pic of all time. There really isn’t much else to say about it other than that it shouldn’t exist.
Sadly, it does exist, and we can’t help but ask whose genius idea it was to take this disaster of a photo.
No Shame December
That right there is a very, very proud man. He owns a big dog, cradles a baby doll whenever he's feeling a bit paternal and spends his free time watching river monsters while sharpening his hunting knife.
He grew the handlebar stash in support of prostate cancer research during the month of November but when the calendar turned to December he said "what the hell" and kept the fire burning.
You Had To Know There Was Going To Be A Face Swap
The face swap fad blew up on the internet a couple of years back and found its way into just about every facet of our lives. Snapchat, Facebook profile pictures, Instagram posts and apparently, Christmas cards too.
Personally, I can't stand face swaps but I found this one particularly amusing, which is saying something. Just not as amusing as the weird cellphone family that appears just a few clicks later.
His Fault
There Santa goes again, blaming all his problems on the elves. The more I hear about this Santa, the more I'm beginning to think he’s just the worst. He forces his elves to work overtime through the holidays, he takes advantage of Rudolph’s genetic defect and sneaks into peoples houses and steals cookies while they’re sleeping.
Sounds a lot like criminal mischief to me. Lock ’em up for life! It’s what they deserve.
Accurate
Christmas is supposed to be a time when family comes together. A time when they sit at a table together where they share good food, enjoy good wine as well as each others company, free of distractions.
That means no Instagramming meals, snapping friends or tweeting about Christmas cake. It may not seem like it, but at least they're spending time together. One person further down this list wasn’t so fortunate.
Tough guys
Croquet mallets and Christmas vests are a winning combination. These two could run a clinic on how to look super badass in just about every situation imaginable. They've checked all the boxes: power poses, subtle flexing of the shoulders and biceps capped off with the intimidating staredown. It’s all here people.
No one will ever create a better Christmas card than what you’re looking at right now. It’s just so beautiful.
How Many Daves Does It Take To Decorate A Christmas Tree
It looks like Dave knows how to throw quite the tree lighting party. I spot 16 of them in the frame, including the Dave hiding under the Christmas tree and the one who's apparently stuck behind it. If you can’t party with you — or 15 of you — how can anyone else, right?
This seriously took some amazing Photoshop skills. Even if you’re not a big fan of the card itself, you have to be impressed with the time put into making it!
Christmas Is The G.O.A.T. – Literally
This Christmas card may be wildly cheesy (seriously, what thrift store did they pull those absurd Christmas sweaters from? What about that vest?), but the most perplexing part is the goat. How did a baby goat get there? Are they raising it as their child? We can only assume.
This photo really does raise far more questions than it does give answers. I guess we know what everyone will be talking about at the big holiday dinner party!
What Exactly Is Happening Here?
It's hard to tell exactly where to start with this one. There’s no snow in sight and the family bizarrely draped tinsel and hung stockings on a cactus. Beyond that, why is the mother in a tennis outfit? Why is the kid wearing some kind of spandex wrestling-slash-ballet uniform?
Why are dad’s shorts so short? It truly was another time that I will just never understand. Coming up: snakes! On a sled!
Snakes Are Part Of The Family Too
We get it – you love your pets. Who doesn't? Seriously, though, who actually brings their snakes all the way to meet Santa. A dog, maybe. Maybe even a cat. But a snake and iguana?
Where does Santa actually draw the line and can you even legally bring those things into a mall. Are they registered as emotional support snakes? If not, I’m not sure they are actually allowed to be brought into the mall.
The Ho Ho Whole Family Is Disgusted with This One
This Christmas card got really awkward really fast. Once the parents finally got their little munchkin to sit still, up goes his lunch. His older brother is even leaning away from him in disgust.
It would've probably been best to just clean up and delete any evidence of this photo from the camera roll, but here we are. I feel bad for this kid, too. Once he grows up, this photo will be used as blackmail by his parents or other siblings.
The Grinch
The girls and their mother are decidedly dorky, but it's kind of adorable to recreate the Whos of Whoville. What isn’t cute is Dad in a bright green, full-body, spandex suit and creepy face paint.
Yes, he looks like the Grinch, but man, it could have been a whole lot less weird if he wore anything else. Did he have the green suit just laying around in storage, or did he actually buy the cheapest Grinch costume he could find?
The Nativity Scene
Nativity scenes are a staple of Christmas, which is supposed to be a deeply religious holiday. These people took it one step too far when they decided to recreate that infamous night on their own Christmas card. There's just something really tacky about making your dog Jesus Christ.
I get that some people love their dog just that much, but still… If floating pets are your thing, you’ll love the next page.
It's Raining Cats And Dogs
It's hard not to appreciate these people’s commitment to Christmas, but the outfits are definitely a lot. Where do you even buy a puke-green poncho? Regardless, these people crossed the line when they floated their pet’s head behind them as if they were deceased or a distant dream.
Why do so many people set up pictures like this with their pets? Do they really think it makes a for a good holiday card?
Family Of Five Christmas Ornaments
Can't decide what to wear in your family Christmas photo? Why not dress up like giant Christmas ornaments. This is undoubtedly a flattering look for everyone. No, it’s not all awkward and painful to look at. How much did they have to bribe their kids to get in on this one?
They probably didn’t bride the kids at all. What happened was they told their kids that if they didn’t dress up as ornaments then there would be no Christmas this year.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Although this had the potential to be a nice Christmas card with such a lovely background, this family wanted to take the more honest route. Instead of pretending that they're one big happy family like most cards, they’re letting us truly know what they’ve been up to all year.
And we respect that. Now excuse me while I check the messages on my phone. Does nudity belong on a Christmas card? You decide.
Never Gets Old
Now, these are the kinds of Christmas cards that we want to see. If you have the slightest sense of humor you can understand the genius behind this card and the man that sent it out.
Seeing a card like this genuinely makes you want to get to know this guy and his cat as well. Look at that sweater. If he's single, this needs to be the first picture anyone sees on his dating profile.
That's Gangster, Yo!
Seeing this family's Christmas card really makes you wonder what the whole dynamic of their household is. Christmas morning surely has to be quite the event if this is what the lead up looks like.
Although it may be a bit cringy, you have to admit that it’s clever as well and that "Ruff Daddy" is the star of the rap collective. That pooch is going to end up have a lucrative solo career.
This Is Art
Something tells us that this family is not new when it comes to out-of-pocket Christmas cards. This is probably one of a series dating from several years back that has developed over time.
This looks pretty well thought out and although it's pretty creepy you have to laugh with them. As long as they are also laughing. Please let them be in on the joke with the rest of us…
