Neighborhood rivalry is nothing new, which is why they’ve made so many movies about it. However, no Hollywood flick could compare to the real-life feuds that exist between neighbors. Some neighbor complaints are too good to be believed, like the kid who was caught throwing cheese on their neighbor’s roof, or the person who repeatedly left their trash bag out in the hallway of their apartment building. We took it upon ourselves to find the most hilarious messages left by annoyed neighbors. Read on for a hearty laugh and a newfound appreciation of your neighbors.
Poor Singing Reviews
This note should be printed in every dictionary as a model example of sarcasm and passive aggression. The all-caps at the top is priceless, as is the singing/screaming comment. You can practically hear the terrible performance in your mind without having been there.
We also appreciate the use of two different colored marked to ensure that the complaints stand out more than the reviews do. Each review, however, is masterful. The partying neighbors probably felt like an American Idol contestant who was just annihilated by Simon Cowell after reading this.
Every Step You Take
The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” is arguably one of the creepiest songs in rock n’ roll history. However, the lyrics are a perfect fit for a downstairs neighbor who is sick of hearing the person upstairs.
The song’s chorus normally ends “I’ll be watching you,” but this clever complainer changes the line to “Is really audible through the floor.” They could have tried to rhyme with the song’s line by saying something like “I’ll be hearing you,” but the abrupt shift in tone at the end is way funnier.
Don’t Mess With Protective Parents!
This note is polite and kind all the way through, with the exception of just one little word: Godless. That word stands out not only because it’s written in all caps and underlined, but because it doesn’t seem to fit the tone of the rest of the message.
Clearly, Barb and Tom wanted to toe the line between representing themselves as good people to their new neighbors, and making clear that they are a force not to be reckoned with. This note goes to show that parenting can bring out the lion in even the kindest of people.
The Fighting Couple
While this note is a bit of a downer, there are two key elements that make it hilarious: the heart signoff and the 2:00 AM timestamp at the bottom. Some couples bicker more than others, but you know it’s a major issue when the entire building wants to complain about it.
At least the author of the note didn’t mention any specifics about what their “personal business” consists of. They also did a kind thing by offering other options to the couple, such as fighting out in the car. We probably would have also suggested counseling.
Taken 3: The Trash Bag
Anyone who’s seen Taken is probably familiar with Liam Neeson’s popular line, shown here. The line is delivered immediately after his daughter in the film is taken, hence the movie’s title.
The intense film is precisely what makes this sign so wonderful. A desperate situation such as having your daughter abducted is nothing compared to having a trash bag left outside of your door. However, after so many times of your neighbor’s trash bag being left out, you might feel as enraged as Neeson’s character.
The Stolen Ferret Water Bottle
It’s surprising how often packages are stolen by the neighbors. What’s more shocking is that a package containing a ferret water bottle was taken. The angry neighbor who wrote this letter mentioned that the bottle was intended for their cat, but ferrets are also a popular domestic pet, as was the case in the movie Along Came Polly.
Whether the thief actually has a pet ferret or stole the package prematurely, it’s about as funny a case of stolen property as you can get. Props to the person who posted this note for ending it with sarcasm.
Not What He Meant By A Painted Fence
This passive-aggressive note is charming for many reasons. For one, it is written in large letters across a fence, which means it’d be just about impossible for anyone driving by to miss it. In fact, you can tell that the photograph was taken by someone driving by, through the passenger’s side window.
Another great aspect of this note is that it technically accomplishes what the neighbor had asked. The fence is an eyesore and would probably be better off being torn down and replaced altogether. However, that’s for the owner to decide, not Bob.
The Sarcasm Winner
This letter definitely takes the top prize in sarcasm. The repetition of the word “awesome” is clearly meant to convey how loud the speakers are. Furthermore, you could replace every positive adjective in this note with the word “loud” and it would still make sense, and probably be more honest.
We’d imagine that the person writing this looked a bit crazy at the time, like when you’re so angry that you burst into laughter. Something about the word “envious” in the sign off really drives home the message, as does the mention of “hundreds” of neighbors.
The Barking Dog
Most people who have dealt with a neighbor’s noisy dog would be able to understand the desperation evoked in this note. Unlike most of the other letters we’ve seen, this one isn’t demanding that a specific action be taken. It also doesn’t so much as mention a threat or potential consequence.
Whoever wrote this was beyond the point of writing a thought-out message. We imagine that they were in some sort of catatonic state when they stumbled up to the wall and wrote “Your dog barks,” and then followed it up with half a dozen more “and barks.”
Stop Throwing Cheese!
Rather than writing a note and putting it on Eric’s door, these neighbors made a public announcement about what he’s been doing. Most people wouldn’t dream of throwing cheese at all, especially onto the roof of their neighbors.
What remains a mystery is how these neighbors became aware that there was cheese on their roof in the first place. They must have a rooftop deck. Either that or Eric has poor aim and it landed on the window a time or two. Either way, he certainly got what he deserved now that the entire neighborhood knows of his ill deeds.
Not How We Do It In The States
Its no secret that some European customs stray from American norms and vice versa. However, it isn’t fair to refer to the person as your “German neighbor” and then remind them what privacy means. Despite being a mild form of stereotyping, it is a funny note.
We don’t want to know what the author saw that prompted them to write this note. The request to either shut the blinds or kill the lights suggests that something was seen that shouldn’t have been, and that’s all anyone really needs to know. Your imagination can take things over from there.
A Fair Warning About Call Of Duty
Self-awareness is an important trait to have, and one that this neighbor clearly has a lot of. It takes someone who is very comfortable with themselves to be able to admit that they can get carried away with videogames.
It’s funny that they put the words “commotion” and “slurs” in quotation marks, as though they are a more modest version of what they really are meaning. You have to wonder how bad things got before the cops were called on them.
No Pictures, Please
Sometimes, living in urban areas comes along with a lack of privacy. We’ve all seen an action film where a detective is able to get the evidence they need simply by peering into a high rise building at night. Especially when it comes to balconies, you can’t be too sure who’s watching.
However, this sign seems like it’s targeted at someone specific, rather than being a general message to the public. It’s a creepy thought, but what if this photograph was actually captured by the very person the sign was addressing?
For Aesthetic Purposes
This note is a little harder to read do to the person’s cursive, so we’ll spell it out for you: “Dear Homeowners: Please keep your blinds lowered (at all times) across front of your home– for aesthetic purposes.” It’s then signed with a thank you from a walker, jogger, and bicyclist.
We can’t say for sure if there is an individual walker, jogger, and biker or if they are all three the same person. Everything about this note is vague and unusual, which is what makes it so funny. Plus, how closely is this person looking to be perturbed by the decor inside of their neighbor’s home?
You Are Dinosaur?
This note goes to show that sometimes the simpler, the better. For those who may not be as familiar with poetic forms, a haiku is a poem if three lines, the first and last of which have five syllables, and the middle one with seven syllables.
That’s why the author had to omit “a” from the last line to pull off a long word like “dinosaur.” But that also adds to the humor. Writing a haiku isn’t as simple as it looks, but then again, neither is telling your brand new neighbor to pipe down.
We’re going to go out on a limb here and guess that this person didn’t really think that their neighbor was performing an exorcism. The mention of expelling demons was probably referring to other activities that were equally loud.
Since they requested said expellings to be limited to Friday and Saturday nights, we’d guess that it was partying on the weeknights that prompted this neighbor to complain. We would give this note five stars for creativity.
Christmas In March
You know that whoever this note is referring is probably the same neighbor that leaves their Christmas lights up year-round. That’s the only kind of person we could imagine playing holiday music first thing in the early morning three months after Christmas ended.
The emphasize of “VERY CLEARLY” suggests that it isn’t merely a muffled jingle that they’re hearing. Rather, it’s every lyric of every Christmas song that they’re having to put up with. Kudos to them for lasting so many months before finally having to say something. We also appreciate the “Merry X-mas” sign off.
Who Called The Cops On My Flamingoes?
In case you can’t see those itty bitty words on the sign, it reads “TO: WHOEVER CALLED THE POLICE ON MY LAWN INSTEAD OF TALKING TO ME LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR: YOUR MOVE.” Apparently, someone wasn’t very fond of a few pink flamingo decorations.
It seems absurd to call the cops on someone’s choice of lawn decor. Even worse, it’s not like they have a lawn with terrible curb appeal. The grass is green and everything seems generally well-manicured. Perhaps the complainer has an intense phobia of flamingoes. Whatever the case, we’re dying to know what happened next.
The One Advantage Of Having Thin Walls
While hearing someone else’s television can be incredibly annoying, at least this neighbor might have the advantage of discovering a new movie to watch. You have to wonder if the person who received this note actually responded back with the movie title.
In all seriousness, this message was probably written with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Especially with that blunt period at the end rather than an exclamation point, we aren’t buying that the author gave a care in the world what the movie was. If they did, they should have knocked on the door and asked to join in on the movie night.
Not The Giving Tree
There must have been a ton of neighbors stealing from this poor guy’s tree for him to want to do something about it. Many people who grow their own produce end up with more than they can eat themselves. Not Mark, though.
He didn’t just put up a large sign near the tree; he made tiny notes to attach to the fruit itself. At that point, he may as well have picked all of the fruit before others could get to it. Clearly, this annoyed neighbor wanted to send a message.