The Most Hilarious Ways People Are Trying To Socially Distance Themselves

Social distancing is hard. People have to remain six feet apart, refrain from touching their faces, and, most recently, wear face masks. But what if you don’t have a face mask? And what if other people won’t stay six feet away from you?

With more time on their hands, internet users have gotten creative. They discovered how to shop, date, and perform a baptism while social distancing. And their efforts are hilarious. Ready to laugh at these social distancing attempts?

Install An Antivirus

A man uses a Norton Antivirus computer disc as a face mask.
@imstillhungry95/Twitter
@imstillhungry95/Twitter

COVID-19 is a virus. To cure it, we need an antivirus, right? That was this man’s reasoning when he attached a Norton AntiVirus disc to his face. Finally, someone learned how to make an antiviral face mask. Norton 2003 had the key this whole time.

Jokes aside, if a computer antivirus could stop social distancing early, programmers would be all over it. Until society returns to normal, we’ll enjoy some quarantine puns. Someone hack into COVID-19 already!

It’s Time To Bring Back Plague Doctors

A man shops in a plague doctor mask made out of newspaper.
reddit/u/ChillyStrawberry
reddit/u/ChillyStrawberry

If there were ever a time to bring back plague doctors, it’d be now. Although this man didn’t have a real mask, he created one out of newspaper. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Plague doctors filled the masks with aromatic herbs because they believed that “impure air” caused disease. That’s why this man has a garlic bulb tied to his mask. Since that theory has since been disproven, a modern face mask would work better for this man.

The New Baptism Method

A priest aims a water gun at a baby to baptise him.
reddit/u/timetogoVroom
reddit/u/timetogoVroom

Social distancing hasn’t stopped babies from being born. But how can a priest baptize a baby without touching them? This pastor found a consecrated water pistol and filled it with holy water. You didn’t expect to read that sentence, did you?

In reality, this photo is likely a joke. Both of the parents are cracking up in the corner. Water pistols aren’t a traditional part of Catholic rituals, but perhaps after quarantine ends, they will be.

That’s Not His Real Nose

special effects artist
TheElusiveEnchilada/Imgur
TheElusiveEnchilada/Imgur

A special effects artist had fun with his face mask. He created a mask that looks like his face up until the mouth. Then, he created a “mouth” wrapping around an air filter. That’ll likely make people jump in the grocery store.

This is what happens when people have to work from home. When special effects artists can’t make movie props, they create unique face masks. It’s genius. No wonder this photo went viral quickly.

How To Date While Social Distancing

A man in a plastic ball goes on a date with a woman.
@enlightenup/Pinterest
@enlightenup/Pinterest

This photo comes with a story that made the news. The 28-year-old photographer, Jeremy, asked a “quarantine cutie,” Tori, on a date through a drone. Afterward, he got her roommate to set up a romantic table, and the two ate together through Facetime.

Later, Jeremy asked Tori out on a “real” date. He rolled up to her in a plastic ball so that the two could spend time together without worry. It’s both funny and romantic.

How To Not Touch Your Face

A man wears a cone around his neck to not touch his face.
reddit/u/Iron_Bawls
reddit/u/Iron_Bawls

“Don’t touch your face,” health experts say. Suddenly, everyone feels an irresistible urge to touch their face. That urge must have been too much for this man. He strapped a cone around his neck to keep his hands away.

Now, humans know how animals feel when they wear the cone of shame. Not being able to scratch your nose is unexpectedly frustrating. But using a human cone may be taking it a bit too far, even if it is funny.

Even The Dog Is Prepared

A woman dressed in protective plastic walks with her dog, also covered in protective plastic.
@Jan34733995/Twitter
@Jan34733995/Twitter

The saga of people wrapping themselves in plastic continues. But in this photo, the dog seems more protected than the person. The dog has many plastic bags taped over its legs, tail, and body. And it’s wearing a face mask.

Believe it or not, the CDC reported that some small pets had caught the virus. As long as they’re socially distanced, they’ll be fine. But this–well, it’s hilarious, but not necessary. But look at the puppy’s tiny mask!

In Case Your Car Gets Sick

A purple car has a giant face mask over the front.
reddit/u/Uk1066
reddit/u/Uk1066

Despite the quarantine, people still need to drive to the pharmacy and grocery store. What would you do if your car gets COVID-19? You wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. Everyone’s thinking about their own safety, but who’s considering our cars?

Real talk–whoever created this car decoration is a genius. Companies have used clever marketing campaigns in the quarantine situation because everyone needs some laughs. Imagine running into this car on the road. You might need one for your vehicle!

That’ll Keep People Away

A man attached pool noodles to a headband to keep others six feet away.
reddit/u/youngchoch
reddit/u/youngchoch

Despite social distancing efforts, some stores remain crowded, especially when quarantine first began. How can you guarantee that others will stay six feet away? Do what this guy did: break out the pool noodles.

This engineering genius strapped several six-foot-long pool noodles to his head. Bow down to the quarantine king and his very wide and obnoxious crown. Seeing how crowded this store appears, he evidently needed it. Does social distancing mean nothing in a store?

That Seems Less Safe

A woman and her shopping cart are wrapped entirely in a pink plastic bag.
@RasgoCom/Twitter
@RasgoCom/Twitter

As a social distancing rule, people shouldn’t stand too close or touch each other. Grocery store employees sanitize carts so that germs don’t spread. But this woman is taking no chances. Her body and her cart are covered in plastic.

At first glance, this looks like a safety hazard. She could easily suffocate in ten pounds of plastic wrap. But it seems that the face portion has enough of an opening to breathe. Still, is all this really necessary?

Is There Even A Person Under There?

A person standing in line is wearing a bag.
@enlightenup/Pinterest
@enlightenup/Pinterest

Social distancing measures have only gotten more extreme. Gone are the days of face masks; now, it’s all about full-body bags. Everyone must hop around everywhere. At least, that was this person’s thought process.

It seems that this person is at a bank. How will they reach out to hand an employee their card? How to they breathe? So many questions, and we likely won’t get answers because we won’t be able to hear them underneath the bag.

Getting Sick Is Off The Table

A man strapped a circular table around himself to keep others six feet apart.
Chimichanga007/imgur
Chimichanga007/imgur

Here’s another example of a man wanting everyone to stay six feet away. Although you can step under pool noodles, getting around a table is far harder. Is that heavy? Probably–but he’ll get a workout while staying safe.

Since the table is so wide, how did he get through the door? He must have gone through one of those automatic double doors. Or, he took off the table and rolled it through the entryway. That’s more amusing to imagine than this picture.

Coughy Filter

A man wears a coffee filter as a face mask labeled
Gogoforgomez2017/Imgur
Gogoforgomez2017/Imgur

Heh. Get it? A face mask filters the germs from people coughing, and this coffee filter sounds like “coughy.” There’s nothing funnier than someone on the internet explaining an obvious joke.

Self-aware humor aside, this photo was taken by the man’s child. They said that their father has kept a great sense of humor during this quarantine. And, no, a coffee filter won’t keep out the virus. The filter is too wide, and germs are too small.

Eat The Mask After You’re Done With It

A man wears a cabbage mask.
@Phoenixxl/Twitter
@Phoenixxl/Twitter

Once people began wearing face masks, an odd trend emerged. People began converting food into masks. Onions, pumpkins, lettuce–you name it. This person converted a cabbage leaf into a full face mask.

Sure, this person looks like a vegetable slayer. But does their cabbage mask work? No, of course it doesn’t. It may be better than not wearing a mask, but it’s still ridiculous. That cabbage must smell bad after a while. At least it’s not an onion.

“Don’t Worry, Dad, I Got This!”

A daughter wears a stormtrooper mask while walking her dog.
reddit/u/closes52
reddit/u/closes52

According to one Reddit user, his daughter wanted to walk their dog. Since the CDC had just recommended face masks, the family didn’t have any yet. His daughter said, “Don’t worry, Dad. I got this!” This is what she did.

This girl is officially the coolest kid on the block. Although her dog doesn’t look amused, other users found it hilarious. A small, well-dressed stormtrooper walks through the neighborhood to fight a virus. A brilliant solution.

Straight Out Of A Sci-Fi Movie

A man wears a hazmat suit with a ran hat and tubes sticking out of it in a subway.
@WhatsTrending/Twitter
@WhatsTrending/Twitter

We’d explain what’s going on here if we had any idea. Apparently, this subway user prepared for their commute by wearing a hazmat suit with a hat. The poles sticking out of him are likely designed to keep others away.

To be fair, none of those people in the line behind him are standing six feet apart. It’s no wonder why this person resorted to desperate measures. And what are those boots? Rain boots? He’s concealed from head to toe.

The Safest Uber Lift

An Uber driver is encased in a plastic square while driving.
Bizzysmoke/Imgur
Bizzysmoke/Imgur

Before Uber and Lyft suspended rides, drivers worked to keep themselves safe. This man engineered a germ-proof cage. It seems to be made out of pipes and plastic, and he’s wearing a face mask even inside.

Although continuing to drive customers is a risky move, people need money. This driver is probably the safest one out there. We don’t know if this driver is still picking up customers, but hopefully, he and his family are still healthy.

The Battle Begins

People dressed as medieval knights shop in a supermarket.
reddit/u/Squonk3
reddit/u/Squonk3

The battle against COVID-19 began long ago–but not 500 years ago. These grocery store shoppers decided to protect themselves in full suits of armor. They likely weren’t allowed to bring their weapons.

Will a metal helmet guard against the coronavirus? No, but it will amuse all of the other shoppers. That, or it’ll shock them. Perhaps they’re buying oil so that their armor won’t squeak. They may also need some water; it looks hot under there!

When You’re Out Of Masks

A woman wears a dog mask instead of a face mask.
reddit/u/FroggyMcTerrison
reddit/u/FroggyMcTerrison

According to the original poster, a woman walked into their store like this. She said that she didn’t own a mask, and she grabbed the next best thing. How many people have seen her mask out of the corner of their eye and jumped?

If we’ve learned anything from quarantine, it’s that people will use anything to substitute a face mask. A Halloween costume is the least weird object to grab, but it is hilarious!

Going Organic

A man wears a face mask made out of half of an orange.
reddit/u/philliprobertson327
reddit/u/philliprobertson327

Want a fresh-smelling face mask? This orange should work. Despite the pulp, it’ll smell fresh and…well, it probably won’t work as a face mask. But it could be better than nothing, maybe. Using fruit as a face mask seems to be a running joke since there are many social media photos of it.

Alright, alright. We’ll make the obvious joke. Orange you glad you wore a mask? Every internet user and their mother has likely made that joke.