You can assume a lot about your neighbors based on the signs they choose to display in their yards. While many of us are used to seeing the occasional “Beware Dog” or “Garage Sale” signs, there are some yard signs that are hard to believe people put up. From a “not haunted” real estate sign to a “cheating spouse, everything must go” garage sale ad, these residents knew how to amuse their neighbors.
The Battle Of The Pink Flamingos
This resident put up a sign that reads “To whoever called the police on my lawn instead of talking to me like a good neighbor: YOUR MOVE.” Being that the sign is also accompanied by a lawn full of pink flamingos, we would guess it was the decorations that the neighbor didn’t like.
We have to hand it to the homeowner for pushing back against their neighbor’s disdain. After all, who calls the cops over poor curb appeal?
Welcome To Over the Hillville
These yards signs poke fun at the elderly, with one sign reading “Welcome to Over the Hillville.” Another sign says, “Yield to aches and pains” and a crossing sign features an elderly person crossing the street.
The final sign shows a crossed out cake, which could symbolize no more birthdays or may simply be saying no more birthday candles. Either way, the message of these signs is clear: old people live here and they want you to be mindful.
The Most Honest Garage Sale Sign
We have to hand it to these residents for making arguably the most honest garage sale sign we’ve ever seen. The posting reads, “Desperate people selling desperate things” and includes the date and time of the alley sale.
In all honesty, many of the items sold at a garage sale are in pretty desperate condition, and the people selling them are desperate to get rid of them. It’s nice to see neighbors poke fun at themselves.
Cheating Husbands Get Their Stuff Sold
This yard sale sign candidly states, “Wife caught husband cheating. Everything must go!” You have to hand it to the brave woman who decided to include her personal details in this sign for the sake of attracting buyers.
At the same time, it probably felt good to tell neighbors what her husband did. He broke her heart, so she tarnished his reputation. Oh yeah, and in the process she sold all of his belongings to strangers.
Cheating Wives Also Get Their Stuff Sold
Just like the wife who sold all of her cheating husband’s items in a garage sell, this husband is doing the same to his unfaithful wife. His sign states “Cheating wife. Garage sale.”
He then brutally writes, “All must go! Like her!” It’s a harsh truth, and one that the wife probably wasn’t too fond of hearing. Sometimes it takes a shock to the system to change for the better. That and losing all of your things.
Lost In Translation
This sign was first written in Mandarin, but the translation doesn’t seem to match the original text. The English version reads “Do not disturb. Tiny grass is dreaming.” Either that’s a horrible translation, or the Mandarin writer had a wonderful sense of humor.
It sounds like something you might say to a young child who doesn’t understand why they can’t stomp on the grass. But to have the sign out for adults is a little unusual, to say the least.
Don’t Call The Cops On Horses
This hilarious sign reads “Horses lay down. Please don’t call 911.” We can only imagine how many people must have called the cops on sleeping horses to make this sign necessary.
Those who aren’t around horses often may have only ever seen them standing up. Thus, seeing a horse lying down can be off-putting, to the point that you may even think it needs medical attention. While the concern is thoughtful, it ultimately is not necessary.
An Anatomical Warning
We don’t know what people are wearing, or not wearing, when they go jogging in this neighborhood, and we’re not sure we want to know. This neighbor has literally seen enough and has decided to let the local joggers know.
Of course, this could also be the house of a very protective parent. You the kind, they won’t even let their teenager watch a PG-13 movie even though they’re old enough.
Not Haunted House For Sale
This house for sale sign bluntly reads “Not Haunted.” If someone felt they needed to mention that the property is “not haunted,” we would immediately assume that it was totally haunted.
The real reason behind the silly mention is probably that the real estate agent thought it would attract more attention. It certainly does make this ‘for sale’ sign stand out among all of the ordinary versions. At least the homeowners have a sense of humor.
A Really Inexpensive Department Store
This sign reads, “Is it a yard sale or a really inexpensive department store? Come and see for yourself!” We can appreciate the creativity behind this sign, which was likely written by someone with a marketing degree.
The best part is that they don’t claim to actually be an “inexpensive department store.” Rather, they imply that they might be, so it’s up to the person to go find out! It certainly would peak our interest.
The Best Political Sign In The Neighborhood
When it comes to politics, yard signs can be a divisive force in neighborhoods. There’s nothing like discovering your neighbor is for a politician you can’t stand. That’s what makes this sign such a comedic relief.
It reads, “Re-elect wandering hordes of zombies.” We’re going to go out on a limb here and assume that this person doesn’t actually believe in zombies. Rather, they probably wanted to make passersby laugh, which is a great way to unify the neighborhood.
Admittance Is The First Step
This person has decided to accept the fact they hate exercise and get rid of their cardio machine. They tossed it in the yard with a sign that reads, “I’m fat and lazy. You still have a chance! Free!”
They say that admittance is the first step. In this case, it may also be the last step. They may be calling it quits on exercise, but at least they’re still encouraging others to get fit!
Dos Equis Approves This Yard Sale
This brilliant neighbor decided to use The Most Interesting Man in The World, aka the Dos Equis guy, to promote their yard sale. Not only did they include his face on the sign, but they also paralleled the famous Dos Equis catchphrase.
The sign reads, “I don’t always go to yard sales, but when I do, I turn here.” The joke is a clever way to capture people’s attention while also providing directions to their sale.
Not A Cash Reward, But A Cat Reward
At first glance, this looks like a missing cat sign. It’s not until you start reading the posting that you realize the owner lost their keys, and is offering their cat to the finder as a reward.
The sign offers a physical description of “Eddie” the cat, along with hilarious details like “Mews all day/ night demanding attention” and “Eats directly from unattended plates.” Hopefully the person who finds the lost car keys is more of a cat person than whoever posted this sign was.
The Meme Yard Sign
Memes are so prevalent nowadays that we can’t be surprised someone applied one to a yard sign. This one comes from an episode of Futurama that poked fun at iPhones. The character Fry ignores warnings about battery life and reception, stating, “Shut up and take my money!”
This brilliant sign-maker included the famous character and quote to imply that their yard sale will have you throwing money at the sellers. It’s a hilarious inside joke for meme fans.
Ryan Gosling Will Be At The Yard Sale
This outlandish yard sale sign uses famous Ryan Gosling to catch the eye of passersby. It reads, “Hey girl, I’m about to head over to this yard sale” over a picture of the famous actor.
The fake quote continues, “Let’s find a matching tea set and then put it to use.” As unrealistic as the sign is, we wouldn’t be surprised if a girls still headed to the yard sale just to check if Ryan Gosling was there.
Reasonable Pool Rules
This yard sign seems innocent enough, until you get to the end. It reads, “Pool Rules. No runnin’, jumpin’, or peein’. Swimsuits are optional.” The first few rules seemed legitimate, for the sake of health and safety.
The last rule, on the other hand, is either a suggestion or a joke. We just hope that the owners of this sign were on the same page as their guests, or things would have gotten very awkward.
Beware Of Grandson
Typically when you see video surveillance signs, it’s directed towards intruders. In this case, it isn’t robbers the homeowners are worried about, but rather inconsiderate dog owners.
The sign reads, “We have video, we know where you live. If you don’t pick up after your dog, we’ll send our grandson to poop on your lawn.” We can’t imagine how many neighbors allowed their pets to defecate on these poor homeowners’ yard to make this sign necessary.
Watch Out For This Turtle
This sign is far from your average missing pet notice. First of all, the owner is not only missing their turtle, but also a pair of nunchucks. Below an image of both reads, “Appears slow but is very dangerous. He will come home eventually, but evil-doers beware.”
We may be reading too deeply into this, but is the writer implying that the turtle took the nunchucks intentionally as a weapon of opportunity? If so, we’re totally getting a guard turtle.
The Love Note Went To The Wrong Car
This poor husband was just trying to do something nice for his wife, but as they say, no good deed goes unpunished. He ended up putting the note on the wrong car, and later posted this sign to warn his neighbors.
The sign explains the error the husband had made in his tired state, and apologizes to whoever may have gotten the note. Perhaps the best part is the last line that states, “I am not in love with you (sorry).”
Too Broke To Buy
This no soliciting sign bluntly states, “We’re too broke to buy what you’re selling anyway.” If we were a salesperson, we’d probably appreciate the honesty. At the same time, some solicitors may take one look at this sign and think, “challenge accepted.”
Plus, the sign doesn’t acknowledge people who come by trying to sell an idea rather than a product. You may be too broke to buy Girl Scout cookies, but anyone can sign a petition.
Not A Flattering Yard Sign
The person who wrote this clearly did not put a lot of effort into it, because it looks like it was written in a rush. The sign reads, “My psycho grandma’s garage sale” with an address.
They didn’t even try to be clever about it. At the same time, there’s something hilarious about imagining a grandmother that is truly off her rocker. We wonder if a few people swung by the garage sale just to meet this “crazy” woman.
Shoutout To The Dumpster Divers
All that this yard sign says is, “Almost as cheap as dumpster diving!” By process of elimination, we can deduce that the author was probably promoting a garage sale, but there’s no way to be sure.
They didn’t include an address, so we would think that the sign was posted in the homeowner’s yard where things were being sold. Lack of details aside, we’re not sure that the way to attract buyers is to compare your stuff to the contents of a dumpster.
Nothing To See Here
This sign’s sole purpose is to disappoint for the sake of humor. It reads, “On this spot– 1st April 1780– nothing happened.” We have to wonder if there’s a reason that the writer picked April Fools day of all the dates in history.
Perhaps the point of the sign is to make you feel like a fool for reading it? Plus, no living being can be sure that nothing happened at that spot hundreds of years ago.
Batman Returns To This Yard Sale
Imagine trying to brainstorm a clever way to create a yard sale sign, and someone blurts out, “I’ve got it! Batman.” That’s essentially what happened here when someone drew an image of the superhero and wrote, “I am Batman, so go to this yard sale.”
There is absolutely no logic behind this message, but that’s what makes it so funny. The idea must have been that people will appreciate the dry humor and go to the sale just to meet the jokesters.
Keyboard Cat For President
This sign features the famous keyboard cat, a meme that rose to prominence in 2007. The image comes from a video that dates all the way back to the ’80s and features a cat “playing” the piano.
The humorous sign suggests that this keyboard cat should become president in 2012. While a pet for president may seem like a unifying decision, it could actually tear the country apart. Just think about the battles that would ensue between cat people and dog people!
Just For Everyone’s Information
This woman isn’t even trying to sell her cheating husband’s stuff. Rather, she just wants the entire neighborhood to know what he did. The large, neon sign reads, “CHEATING HUSBAND,” and proceeds to summarize what happened.
The wife writes, “While his devoted wife was taking care of his sick Mother, Linnie was having affairs with two women at the same time.” She then includes the names of both women at the bottom in parenthesis. She’s not bitter at all.
The Cheap Garage Sale
Sometimes the most clever signs are also the most simple. Such is the case with this yard sign that reads “Garage Sale.” The designer included a drawing of a chirping chick and the word “cheap” coming out of its mouth repeatedly.
While the “cheap” is supposed to be the sound that the bird is making, it also implies that the garage sale is full of inexpensive items. You have to appreciate a clever double meaning.
This person tried to entice people into coming to their garage sale by saying, “Come see what I found in my basement” and “Don’t miss this.” The idea is that the mystery of what could possibly be in this person’s house will attract potential buyers.
In reality, we doubt that the neighbors are all that interested in what someone has in their basement. If anything, it’s a little unsettling to think that something unusual might be lurking below this stranger’s house.
Ex’s Stuff Has Got To Go
This sign reads, “Take my ex’s stuff yard sale. Its all gotta go! Just like him!” The writer didn’t even explain what happened to cause the breakup. Whatever it was, it must be pretty awful if she’s trying to convince strangers to come grab his stuff.
Though the sign says “sale,” this woman seems pretty desperate to get rid of everything for little to no cost. After all, she did write “take” instead of “buy.”
The Best Way To Quit A Habit
It’s understandable for people to not want secondhand smoke on their yard. But how do you convince others to stay off? These neighbors threaten to dump water on people. For good reason, of course.
“If we see smoke around you, we’ll assume you’re on fire and drench you with water,” the sign says. Beware–these neighbors could call the police as well! Not only is this sign hilarious, but it’s also guaranteed to keep smoke off of your lawn.
Vote For Your Cat
While an earlier resident voted for keyboard cat, this person is voting for their own cat. It says, “The more I look around, the more I want to vote for my cat.” To be fair, this person knows their cat better than anyone. Perhaps the cat would make a great president.
Also, note the cat’s name: Rupert G. Belvedere. Is this the most awesome cat name ever? Possibly. And what does the G. stand for? We have so many questions.
Beware Of The…What?
Most people are used to seeing “Beware of Dog” signs. But this neighbor put up something else: “Beware of Attack Rabbit.” Beware of…the rabbit? Does this person own the monster rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
To be fair, a vicious rabbit would warrant a sign. Most people don’t expect a rabbit to attack; they see the cute little face and reach to pet them. If you look closely, you’ll see the attack rabbit fat in the background.
If You’re NOT Interested, Call Us!
This sign will cause aspiring home owners to do a double-take. “This building is NOT for sale or rent,” it reads. “If you are NOT interested in this building, please call the owner.”
You may notice that the phone number has been scratched out. How many people have called the owner after not being interested in the building? Did they receive too many uninterested calls? Perhaps this is the least desirable building in the neighborhood.
More Concerned About The Animals
You know people have climbed a fence when you a see a sign warning people not to climb the fence. Usually, these signs are boring, simply stating “Don’t lean on fence.” But this one got more creative.
This sign warns people not to sit on the fence because “if you fall, animals could eat you, and that might make them sick.” People who care about animals definitely won’t clamber over this fence…and perhaps people who care about themselves, too.
Something Seems Off
Here, you see a sign on a fence, saying “Do not hang signs on fence.” Wait…does something seem off to anyone else? A sign on a fence that denies other signs on fences. Nah, it’s probably completely normal.
Jokes aside, did these neighbors have other people hang signs on their fence? Or did they just hang this as a joke? Perhaps the joke will prompt people to hang more signs on their fence. Regardless, it’s a good laugh.
Don’t Use This Sign As Target Practice
“Please do not throw stones at this sign,” the sign says. We have so many questions about the context of this sign. What did it originally say? Did it say something else, and people changed the text when people started throwing stones at it?
Realistically, this sign probably became target practice. Asking people not to throw stones only puts the idea in their heads. But at least it’ll provide some laughs before a rock knocks off the sign.
The Power Team
At first glance, this looks like a normal “Open House” sign. It features “The Power Team” of Ken and Chuck. But look closely–one of them isn’t a human. He’s a puppet.
Would you accept a house tour from a man with a puppet? It would be a once-in-a-lifetime story. Perhaps this sign brought many customers. We don’t know who is Ken and who’s Chuck, but hopefully the real estate agent didn’t name his puppet after Chucky.
How To Weed Your Lawn
This sign comes with a story. One day, a person received a complaint note from their neighbor. “Do something about the dandelions on your lawn,” they said. Instead of weeding their lawn, the person came up with another solution.
They put up a sign that says “Free dandelions!” offering people to take as many as they like. It may not be what the neighbor was expecting, but they can’t conplaim. Technically, the home owner did something about their dandelions.