18+ Preposterously Funny Signs
There's always one business or company that posts a hilarious sign outside their doors or inside their building.
You begin reading, thinking it will be something normal, then it takes a drastic turn. You either begin to laugh or question if what you read was serious. These are some of the funniest signs ever spotted in public. Let's take a look at them...
"Well, what are you going to do?"
It's a slide and the kids going down probably aren't going to pay attention to this silly sign. They're kids, after all. They have basically no concept of self-preservation, and even if they did, a slide's a slide.
Whether there is something wrong with the slide, it doesn't matter to a kid on a sugar rush. If you truly don't want a kid going down it, you'll definitely need to put an adult on standby.
"It's too late now."
By the time you reach this paragraph, you've already disobeyed the private sign. That's tough, and it creates a bit of a catch-22. You can't put the toothpaste back into the tube, you can't unring that bell, and you can't unread this sign, either.
I'm only wondering what legal matters someone can take if another person really does read it without permission. Maybe it's a matter for the civil courts.
"Is this facts or no?"
Tell the truth, have you ever told a great story after eating a caesar salad? If not, then this sign is truthful. Like, I love a good caesar salad, and if you let me, I'll go on and on about the best ones I've tried - but no one wants to hear that.
It's a slight diss at those (like me) who enjoy salads, but whatever. Alcohol is a cool option.
"Utah has its issues, but its traffic signs are top notch"
I always wonder just how much signs like these actually distract drivers down below, but in this case it is touching on a super important point. Considering lanes are not personal possessions, we don't take them home with us, and we aren't in them for long, people get very possessive.
Try not to drive angry. Instead, drive collaboratively. Everyone wants to get to where they're going, so let's try to make it as painless as possible.
"Just beware."
It looks like there's nothing to beware of here except some licks and tail wags—what a terrible guard dog. This sign kind of acknowledges that - they know there's nothing to be wary of, but they really wish there was.
When you think about it, this sign would be kind of troubling without the dog. You'd wonder just what unseen presence it's warning about. But this adorable pup takes all the suspense out of it.
"Leave the camels out of this."
Did you know camels could go nearly a week without having water? This is because their blood cells are shaped like ovals. That allows them to use water very efficiently. You can still trust them, unlike this sign.
Humans, whose blood cells are definitely not shaped like ovals, need to drink far more frequently. Maybe it's our blood cells that make us love alcohol so much, too. It's a scientific conundrum.
"What a great deal!"
This sign seems like a psychological experiment into how attracted people are to signs in vivid colors that imply some sort of sale. When you actually read the text, it just gets more hilarious.
Not only is the maximum discount apparently zero, it only applies to some stuff. Does that mean that everything else will actually ring up higher than its marked price? I kind of want to go into this place.
"A genius sign about ice cream."
RickRolling has transcended being a simple "gotcha" joke and is now part of our cultural heritage. We've all been the recipient of a RickRoll, most of us have delivered a RickRoll or two, and signs like this are a reminder that the practice is alive and well.
So if you're ever RickRolled, don't be mad. Be happy that you got a chance to participate in a core human experience.
"Treat them right."
If you're going to mess around the avocados, you need to treat them nicely. They don't like that rough stuff.
A tender feel is all they need for you to figure out if you like it. Squeeze too hard, and you might mess it up for the next person. No one wants to take home an avocado that's been bruised up, because that isn't going to make for good guac.
"A wonderful question."
It would have to be an udder failure. A milk dud is already akin to candy. Being an udder failure would make sense all around for a cow that can't produce milk.
Really, if we're going to take this question seriously, we need to ask a farmed. I think the reality here is grim. Wouldn't a cow that can't produce milk just, uh, get slaughtered for beef? I don't know, I'm not a farmer.
"What happened here?"
I know there was a fire in the ocean, but they're starting to make more in water fountains now? The Cuyahoga River in Cleveland caught fire too, but that was way back in the '70s.
All I can guess is that this is one of those unattended, dry water fountains. It seems counterintuitive and all, but one of these would actually make for a pretty good fire pit.
"Chris sounds like a savage."
Who knew Chris was such a savage? I wonder how they allowed this sign to go up since it's so out of pocket. Chris should reconsider his lifestyle if this is what he's going around doing to his family and friends.
The worst part is that Chris apparently sees nothing wrong with this practice and is in fact proud of it. Otherwise, why would he sponsor a sign like this?
"When Google messes up."
Usually, Google Maps is pretty accurate. They must have mistakenly made this person's farm the destination of Isla Gorge. The farmer got so upset that he had to put up this sign so tourists would stop going on his farm.
I wonder if people using Apple Maps or Waze also wound up in Isla Gorge. I hope this property owner finally found peace, possibly by suing Google for emotional distress.
"Take a look at this."
I'm willing to bet everyone got that first line wrong unless they've already seen this trick on a sign before. Morpheus would be proud to know people are using his meme for inspiration. No one is safe.
My initial reaction here is embarrassment that I was tricked, but then again, if pretty much everyone reads the sign the same way, it says more about the human brain than it does about any individual person.
"Genius sign."
Yeah, let's all avoid using "avoid it like the plague" from here on out. That no longer applies. The concept of 'plague' used to refer to old school stuff that we'd never experienced, like a global pandemic that changed the course of history.
Now, we know a little bit about what it's like to live through something like that. We didn't call it a plague, sure, but it sure felt like one.
"Yes, be Batman if you can."
If you're capable of becoming Batman, that would be the best thing for you to do. He's one of the only humans who can defeat Superman. Why wouldn't anyone want to be that? Still, being yourself is perfectly fine as well.
Realistically, unless you believe in multiple Batmen, this sign is only applicable to one person in the world, and that's Bruce Wayne. I don't think any random person just has the option of transforming into Batman.
"Attention, dogs."
Wow, why aren't all signs like this? I feel like every dog needs to see something like this before entering the park. Maybe then they won't urinate on mothers or try to bite people. Great job, city of South Burlington.
In any case, it's nice to see an acknowledgement that dogs aren't the ones to blame for their humans' bad behavior. Even if a person doesn't pick up after their dog, it doesn't mean that dog isn't a good boy.
"Yeah, don't ride the moose."
Do you know how massive a moose is? They stand at least 10 feet tall and can even swim underwater to eat plants. It would be pretty hard to climb on the back of one, so this sign might be pointless.
I'm also wondering if there's a story behind this sign, because warning people not to ride a moose doesn't seem necessary. Then again, after a couple of drinks, it might seem like a great idea.
"Perfect for the wives."
If this is a bar, this is one of the best ways to attract married men. Drinks and time away from shopping is all they need. As long as the wife is okay with it, then this is perfect. I wonder how much business increased after putting this up.
If you've seen Nathan For You, he had a similar concept for a business - and it was actually one of the most plausible ideas on the whole show.
"At my local yarn shop in Syracuse, NY."
I can't believe they have to say that, either. I mean, the face likes a nice soft sensation now and then, but have some tact, y'know? Nuzzle your shirt collar or something and leave the yarn alone.
Besides, if you're ever tempted to rub up on something on a store shelf, consider the possibility that others may have had the same impulse before, and followed up on it.
"This sounds a little aggressive."
This might sound a little aggressive, but I'm sure it's preventing people from stealing the golf balls. I understand that rules are rules, and signs like this are there for a reason, but is this legally binding?
I like to think that if I did something wrong, I'd get my day in court and get a chance to tell my story. But this sign is guaranteeing some sort of awful frontier justice.
"Just... just read this one."
I'm not sure if there is a typo going on here or what, but surely they weren't suggesting what it sounds like they're suggesting. This is a perfect example why you should always have someone proofread your work.
That said, charity boxing matches, dunk tanks, and other physically punishing fundraisers are pretty popular. Maybe they really do mean what they say - or at least know that this sign will intrigue people into attending.
"This wet floor sign at the Toronto aquarium."
Seeing a shark fin pop up over the top of the water is a terrifying signal anywhere except in a bathroom. This has to be one of the most creative wet floor signs I have ever witnessed.
Considering the fact that wet floor signs pretty much everywhere in the world have an existing template (those tall yellow folding things), it's doubly impressive that the aquarium decided to show this much attention to detail.
"Sign guy needs better pay."
I agree, this sign guy needs a raise most definitely. Also, you may only get this joke if you were into heavy rock in the early 2000s. For those of you who don't get it, enjoy your youth.
This song used to feel like the edgiest, rawest track imaginable. Now, a couple of decades later, we'll probably start hearing it in commercials for hearing aids and all-day buffets pretty soon.
"I've never seen a hotel pool sign so blunt before."
When you see a sign like this it's a powerful reminder to, well, not go into the pool if you've got diarrhea. It's also a powerful reminder to anyone else that maybe they don't want to go swimming in a public pool that much.
It almost feels like a deterrent to prevent too many people from getting in. Just seeing that word makes me want to immediately leave.
"This is one of my favorites."
Reddit user csidlauskas wrote, "My husband is in the process of redoing our lawn. He recently began killing off all our grass. I didn't want our neighbors to think we were neglectful homeowners, so I made a sign…"
It's true, neighbors have a certain way of wondering if you are every going to fix the lawn. This is a tasteful way to let them know you have it under control.
"McDonald's getting aggressive trying to hire those 14 year olds."
Completely legitimate question. They make a solid point. I can only imagine how much business they got when everyone knew for sure that the ice cream machine was indeed working.
It's almost a self-own when you realize it's a reference to the old trope that McD's ice cream machines are never working. Weirdly enough, I've only ever encountered this problem if I'm pulling into the drive-thru at, like, 3 in the morning. At that time of day, it's understandable.
"Who's feeding this cat?"
Cats are master manipulators, we all know that. Much of this manipulation comes from them scheming different ways to get food that they're not entitled to.
Not to be prejudiced, but I think orange cats might lead the way in this category. Their life goal is to eat, eat, and then eat some more. Occasionally they might take a break from this to explore new food sources.
"Hope she left some music for him too."
It's a good think she cracked his window - and the treats will help him understand that even though mommy temporarily abandoned him, he's still a very very good boy.
You can only leave your boy in the car for so long before he'll need to use the potty or stretch his legs though, so hopefully she comes back soon to take him for that walk he's going to need.
"This man is a genius."
This guy's sign has the low-key potential to ignite a minor holy war, or at least a religious debate. But I doubt he really cares. He's out to make money, and he has numerous sources of income.
When no one's looking, he should shift some of the money around. That way, a pious person might see their religion under-represented, and feel the need to make a big donation.
"That's not quite how it works, bro..."
I'm going to give this sign maker some serious benefit of the doubt, because it's entirely possible that his sister is pregnant, he's going to be a dad, and the two events are unrelated.
That hypothetical, along with the possibility that he just messed up the wording, are honestly the only two scenarios that aren't horrifying. Anyway, congrats to this guy, and congrats to his sister. Let's hope for the best.
"Fair enough."
I think people tend to get more bitter and cynical as they age, and this naturally leads to seeing the Grinch's side of things more and more.
The poor guy just wanted to be left alone, only to have the whole town gather together every Christmas to sing songs about how much they hated him. I think that would make anybody a tad antisocial and resentful.
"So what's the purpose of this store?"
This reminds me of Spencer's or one of those terrible mall shops that used to be so common. Somehow, the stores that promise only cheap, useless junk are the most alluring.
When teenage me got my minimum wage paycheck, you'd better believe I was investing more in Heineken flags and inflatable aliens than I was in mutual funds and real estate. Maybe that's the reason I'm the way I am today.
"OH, YEAAHH!"
If you've never walked through a screen door, you're probably judging this dog pretty hard. If, like me, you have walked through a screen door like the Kool-Aid Man, you might feel more sympathetic.
Look, sometimes the screen is hard to see, okay? How can something that's literally made of woven threads be so freaking expensive to replace? Why must I be such a lumbering beast? Sorry, got off topic a bit.
"So many questions."
The most plausible scenario here is that the bathroom was out of order for normal reasons, but the only available sign didn't really reflect the reason for the closure.
I mean, it gets the message across - don't go in here. It carries the added allure of making people wonder what that private event might be. Some bathrooms are pretty nice places, after all.
"A flowchart."
This is obviously all tongue-in-cheek, and clearly stems from some incident that bothered Ed enough to the point of making a color-coded flowchart. Good job, Ed.
As someone who loves flowcharts, but doesn't like to just give them a brief glance, I have a feeling I'd spend way too long studying this to make sure there wasn't something I'd missed. Then Ed would be like, "I'm over here, dummy."
"Proceed with caution."
This is good advice, because Venus flytraps are incredibly cool, and without reminders like this, it's almost too tempting not to activate their murder jaws.
It also opens up the intriguing possibility that some flies might be smart enough to read (I mean, they've got like a million eyes), but dumb enough to ignore this sign's advice about something that might kill them. Anyway, long story short: Venus flytraps are rad.
"Tacos are important."
This sign sets up an unfair comparison. Education is the ticket to a well-paying career doing something you're good at, it can foster great experiences that forge lifetime connections, and it's basically a necessity in the modern world.
Then again, education will never, ever satisfy as much as some carne asada from an authentic taco truck with all the fixings. It honestly isn't even close to matching up.
"I wonder what the story is behind this."
I actually have a lot of respect for the person who put this sign up. Humans love drama and gossip, and it seems like the folks in room 2037 were overhearing a lot.
Rather than just voyeuristically listening in and not telling anybody, they decided to take the high road. This sign is like clearing your throat and saying, "I CAN HEAR YOU," to the people outside.
"Found this in my school cafeteria."
Is this sign cringe or hilarious. Well, obviously it's cringe, but it's so cringe that it almost crosses over into being ironic - like when a parent mocks current slang terms.
They're just telling the kids that while they can't force them to eat fruits and veggies, they can force them to put them on their trays. I'd add a few more points if they'd managed to fit "rizz" into this somehow.
