Clever Comebacks From People Who Just Couldn’t Stop Themselves

The internet is a vast and wonderful place where you can find just about anything that your heart desires. If something you want is an outlet for all your sarcastic remarks or clever comebacks, it's definitely the place for you.

Thanks to public social media, these people learned that there's always an opportunity to share their witty thoughts or to point out the obvious to someone who missed the point.

Not The Help They Were Looking For

recommendations please for garage doors - my recommendation is to have one.
Photo Credit: flopsychops / Reddit
Photo Credit: flopsychops / Reddit

You're going to have to be more specific than that if you want a real answer.

Garage doors? Yeah, they're great if you live in a cold climate or a place that rains a lot. Oh, you wanted to know about a manufacturer? Can't help you.

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It's All Subjective

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tweet: magic mike grossed 167 million. if you still think girls like dad bods, keep dreamin pal. response: shrek grossed 484 million just so we're clear
Photo Credit: Jeffrey_Strange / Reddit
Photo Credit: Jeffrey_Strange / Reddit
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If we're going to stick with A$AP Shapiro's logic, what are we supposed to take away from Shrek?

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Maybe people we're going to see Magic Mike for the music or the plot. You don't know!

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He'll Never Let This Go

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flight attendant: is there a doctor on board dad: not asking for a graphic designer to help, are they?
Photo Credit: @Delahuntagram / Twitter
Photo Credit: @Delahuntagram / Twitter
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Every career contributes to society in a different way.

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Sure, he isn't able to save someone's life on a plane, but does a doctor know how to correctly use Adobe Suite? Probably not.

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Even 50% Seems High

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TIL that in 2002, a researcher found that the average 8-year-old British child could identify 80% of Pokemon, but only 50% of common wild life. Response: common wildlife species don't normally yell their names at you.
Photo Credit: thewrongun / Reddit
Photo Credit: thewrongun / Reddit
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I feel like if you stopped a group of 8-year-olds on the street, they wouldn't even be able to name 50% of common wildlife species.

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This person makes a great point though! Deer don't run by and yell out what they are.

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"We've Found The Introvert"

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Reddit: Wait i have to work with other people in an escape room? Response: Why else would you be trying to escape?
Photo Credit: Tehpieator / Reddit
Photo Credit: Tehpieator / Reddit
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Any introvert understands the desire to escape a room that's filled with people.

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It's like every social gathering is your own personal escape room and you're trying to get out early before anyone notices you're leaving.

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Worth A Shot

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why don't i get free stuff? response: I actually have a pretty unique program where I exchange free items to people who send me free money.
Photo Credit: m0c0 / Reddit
Photo Credit: m0c0 / Reddit
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If someone is going to ask a silly question, they have to expect that they might get a silly response.

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While the response was clearly in jest, the account may end up receiving a few "free money" gifts.

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He'll Be Fine

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tweet: my husband just swalloed a paracetamol by mistake. what shall i do? response: give him a headache now, why waste the medicine
Photo Credit: muterotifer48 / Reddit
Photo Credit: muterotifer48 / Reddit
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I'm curious to know how someone accidentally swallows something like Tylenol, but that's beside the point I guess.

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Dr. Doggo is right—take advantage of the preemptive pain relief.

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No Allowance For Him Them

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a child ripped up their allowance because he wasn't happy with the amount. what would you do if this was your child's behaviour? response: keep it and give him a piece of it anytime he asks for money
Photo Credit: @AdamCarriker94 / Twitter
Photo Credit: @AdamCarriker94 / Twitter
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If the kid wants to act up, let him. It doesn't mean you have to replace something that he broke.

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Give him the pieces and have him tape them back together next time he asks for some allowance.

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Risking It All For Love

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couple hanging over cliff, caption: what's stopping you from doing this? response: common sense.
Photo Credit: productivitybeginner / Reddit
Photo Credit: productivitybeginner / Reddit
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Some people choose to prove their love by pulling off dangerous stunts and posting about it on social media; others choose to judge that couple.

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Everyone has to find their role in life.

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A Burn For The History Books

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man tweets: at no time in history did men ever want women with ripped abs. Response: historian here. I'm comfortable in saying that at no time in history have women ever wanted you.
Photo Credit: @Rich_Cooper / Twitter
Photo Credit: @Rich_Cooper / Twitter
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Sorry, Richard, but no one cares if you think that women with abs "look gross."

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James distributed such a wicked burn here that we're pretty sure we're going to need to call the local fire department.

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Turns Out Women Don't Have Ankles

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photo: girls wanna be talking about period pains. have you ever rolled your ankle over? Response: i'm so glad girls don't have ankles.
Photo Credit: Mettaloid_Emon / Reddit
Photo Credit: Mettaloid_Emon / Reddit
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It's so hard to scroll past a photo like this one and not make a comment.

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Someone needs to explain to the person who made the photo that women do, in fact, have ankles.

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Points Have Been Made

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tweet: the day my husband asks me to pay halves on rent is the day i pack my bags. response: and go where? you can't even afford half rent mate.
Photo Credit: MythicalBeast263 / Reddit
Photo Credit: MythicalBeast263 / Reddit
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This woman chose to open her Twitter account to the public, meaning she's going to be scrutinized by the public.

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And in this case, the public is making a lot of excellent points.

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Reversed It Back On Her

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tinder pick-up line rejection
Photo Credit: Al0neF0rever / Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit / Al0neF0rever
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Are pick-up lines usually corny and sometimes just straight-up not funny? Yes.

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But it can also be difficult to start a conversation with a stranger on a dating app, so you should be kind to anyone who's giving it a shot.

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Maybe They Go In Through The Sun Roof

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tweet: do men still open car doors? response: how do you think we get inside?
Photo Credit: vertigno / Reddit
Photo Credit: vertigno / Reddit
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I'm pretty sure the point of this comment was that she doesn't think men are as chivalrous as they once were.

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The man who responded decided to go with a more literal response to her question though.

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Ouch

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why'd you like my picture from 2017? weirdo. response: you just haven't looked good for a while
Photo Credit: laraymazal / Reddit
Photo Credit: laraymazal / Reddit
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Just because he was thinking it doesn't mean that he had to say it.

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Then again, she called him out so she should have been expecting some sort of reasoning.

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Clever Pranks We're Itching To Try Out On Someone

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brother hiding under sister's bed wearing scary mask
Photo Credit: Streets71 / Reddit
Photo Credit: Streets71 / Reddit
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Scary pranks are some of the best ones out there. Not only do you get to surprise someone, but you can see their eyes fill with terror.

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This poor girl had no clue her little brother was under her bed wearing this mask. The moment she got up to use the restroom, you can bet there were screams.

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"I Made My Girlfriend An Easter April Fool's Egg"

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chocolate egg filled with fake spiders as prank
Photo Credit: SpeedflyChris / Imgur
Photo Credit: SpeedflyChris / Imgur
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If his girlfriend is afraid of spiders, this is a brilliant prank. Anyone afraid of those eight-legged freaks will let you know that seeing them unexpectedly is the worst.

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She has her head down because she was probably crying. Arachnophobia isn't something to play around with unless it's with your girlfriend.

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"So My Parents Thought That This Would Be Funny This Christmas..."

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not an ipad for xmas
Photo Credit: BuddyFlapjack / Reddit
Photo Credit: BuddyFlapjack / Reddit
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When you think you're getting an Apple product but you don't get it, your heart breaks a little. It can be the watch, MacBook, or iPhone.

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No matter the device, no one wants to get tricked like this. These parents must really be cold-hearted for doing this.

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That's One Way To Get Friends Not To Flake

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If your friends don't like spending money or they always flake on you, you can use this guy's tactic. Learn how to edit photos and you're good to go.

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I bet each of their reactions were priceless when they arrived and there were no drinks waiting for them at the table.

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Ouch. Well, It Is A Little

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These are the kinds of jokes that make siblings despise each other. They'll spend their whole lives going back and forth until one gives up.

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If this all he really left him, there's no turning back after this. What good is one pea and a spot of stuffing going to do?

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"Roll Window Down, Place Broken Glass On Ground, And Stage The Area"

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broken glass prank for a car
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
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This is another great way of setting up a joke. The only hard part would be gathering a bunch of glass to use. Once you have that, you're good to go.

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This person pulled this prank on his wife, and I'm willing to bet she was very upset at him for about 24 hours at least.

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Hopefully, He Had A Lot Of Fun On His Cruise

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Cruises are fun, but coming back home to this nonsense isn't. Can you imagine his roommate's face when he saw his car this way?

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He probably wondered how in the world he was going to get out of this. Those cylinders of snow look dangerously heavy.

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Coworkers Changed The Keyboard Configuration

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keyboard drama from coworker
Photo Credit: segasaver / Reddit
Photo Credit: segasaver / Reddit
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For those who type without looking, this would be a terrible prank to have happen to you. How long did it take for them to rearrange the letters?

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They kept the bottom row the same, so if they looked down, it would look familiar for a split second. Kudos to them for this.

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"Instead Of Giving My Friend £10 For His Birthday, I Gave Him 1000 Pennies Taped Into A Ball Instead"

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pennies taped for a gift
Photo Credit: GingerrAdam / Reddit
Photo Credit: GingerrAdam / Reddit
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I'm sorry, but this friend is going to have to reconsider things. I get it's a prank, but you really want him to cash in all these pennies?

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Maybe he ended up using all them at a store, but he had to be that person who counted all of them out while people waited impatiently behind him.

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How About No?

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rehab pick up at airport
Photo Credit: ramblindan / Reddit
Photo Credit: ramblindan / Reddit
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Making everyone think the person you're waiting to pick up just got back from rehab is downright evil. The person returning should have kept walking past this sign.

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Now, all those strangers think they're addicted to something dangerous. Good prank, but a little much for shy folks.

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This Is Amazing

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If you want to get your siblings back, here's a genius way to do it. Hiding things in different folders is pure evil, especially if you make an obscene amount of sub-folders.

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She stole $20 from him, so this is a fair payback. All she had to do was ask him or one of her parents for the money.

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"Left A Romantic Surprise For My Roommate..."

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rent is due for roommate
Photo Credit: freekyfrogy / Imgur
Photo Credit: freekyfrogy / Imgur
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As the roommate walked up the stairs, they had no clue what to expect. Chances are they had mixed emotions, but that all changed once they saw the bed.

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Forgetting to pay rent means anything goes. That's just something you don't do. Be accountable or get pranked.

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"I Replaced My Friend's Fancy Soap With A Block Of Fancy Cheese"

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cheese not soap in the shower
Photo Credit: milodeceiving / Reddit
Photo Credit: milodeceiving / Reddit
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What if this friend used the cheese and didn't notice it wasn't their soap? They probably wondered why they smelled so sour during the day.

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Well, if they couldn't notice this was a block of cheese, they probably don't clean themselves thoroughly. This was probably a prank to shed some light on that person.

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She Should've Known After The Giggling

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The moment she heard him giggling, she should've known there was going to be something waiting for her. If she had to use the toilet in the middle of the night while groggy, that would've been perfect.

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She noticed it when she woke up, so at the very least, she tried to pull some off before realizing the truth.

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This Is Golden

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This is a prank that takes precision and skill. If you don't execute it correctly, it will all be for nothing. Luckily, this man Demarco knew what he was doing.

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That is a mighty long quote he chose to change sorry to, but I'm here for it. Allison probably had no clue what was going on with her phone.