It seems that every person in the world is getting some sort of tattoo. Your Pastor? Yeah, he has his full back covered with different types of birds. Your first-grade teacher? Oh boy, she has skulls melting down her shoulders.
While many people try to hide their tattoos because of employment policy, others are more open. Some tattoos are breathtakingly stunning to look at, and while those have their place, they don't give us entertainment like the ones that are awful. We have to give a big thanks to everyone who has tattoo fails that are cringeworthy to look at.
You Get What You Pay For
Okay, so, this is a hard pass. You might as well have your three-year-old sister give you a tattoo because these look like a child drew them. Michael Jackson didn't become the King Of Pop so that he could get a crappy tattoo on someone's crusty back.
Tattoo fact: You'll encounter a variety of costs when researching tattoo prices, but the industry standard is $150 per hour. Most shops worth going to typically have minimum prices around $80 to $100. Even if you're just getting something small, don't expect to walk into a tattoo shop with a 20 dollar bill and expect great things to happen.
Make Sure Your Artist Completed The First Grade
It's very important to make sure that you go to a tattoo artist that you actually can trust. If they can't spell basic English words, you should probably pretend you forgot your keys in the car and never come back. If you follow through with the illiterate artist, you're going to be keeping clams apparently, and no one likes clams.
Tattoo fact: Getting a tattoo removed will run you on average between $200 and $500 per session. Depending on the factors of the tattoo (size, type, etc.), removing the artwork can take multiple sessions. Another good reason to think before you ink!
"I'm A Creep, I'm A Nipple"
For any of you who don't know Radiohead's frontman Thom Yorke, you certainly do now. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a nipple for an eye in real life, but now that we see what he could look like, we kind of wish he did. Also, if anyone is looking for eye patch ideas, your search is over because transfusing a nipple onto your eye is way cooler.
Tattoo fact: Tattooing is nothing new. In fact, the first tattoos date back to the Neolithic times — that's somewhere between 4500 and 2000 BCE!
Break Up, Immediately
This is the first sign that these two need to break up immediately. It's a sign from above that this relationship is never going to work. We think this should also reinforce her concerns that he will always pick video games over her every single time.
Tattoo fact: Thinking about getting tattooed? It might be in your best interest to wait until you're at least 26. A study by the British Association of Dermatologists found that 45 percent of individuals who got a tattoo while in young adulthood (between 18 and 25) regret their decision now.
She Glowed Up
There's a reason that you should never get a picture of your wife or husband tattooed on your body. People divorce or break up all the time. If you do end up getting a portrait, make sure you have a plan B in case all hell breaks loose (literally in this case).
Tattoo fact: Covering an old tattoo with another tattoo is no easy task. Tattoo artists must create a strategy for the cover-up, taking into consideration the colors in the original tattoo as well as the design and placement of the new one.
This Is Very Uncomfortable To Look At
I don't know why, but this makes me jittery inside. Just having to see an entry point of an IV (even though it's fake) is really uncomforting. Kudos to this guy though, I mean, pumping energy drinks and alcohol into your bloodstream isn't recommended by many doctors, but to each their own.
Tattoo fact: When getting a tattoo, your skin is pierced between 50 and 3,000 times per minute by the machine!
That, Uh, Face Though
This wolf looks like the least intimidating animal on the planet with that facial expression. That's the face your mom makes when she finds out you've been taking her vodka and pouring water inside to fill it up. That's the face of everyone who gets shown this tattoo for the first time.
Tattoo fact: Lucky Diamond Rich holds the record for having the most tattoos. He is considered 100 percent tattooed and even has tattoos covering the inside of the eyelids, mouth, and ears.
Organization Is Key
If there's a tattoo that 76-year-old conservative woman would get, it's this. This is a grandma-approved tattoo because it shows initiative to be organized. Not going to lie, if you go on a date with someone and they show you this tattoo, prepare to be bored. There's no way someone with an exciting life is getting a to-do list tatted on their arm.
Tattoo fact: According to the Pew Research Center, it's estimated that Americans spend $1.65 billion on tattoos every year.
"Isn't My Baby Cute?"
Why does this baby look like it just ate a human-being? Dracula called, he wants his baby back. This is a side note, but can we stop saying that ALL babies are cute? They aren't. This baby looks like the devil, yet when its grandparents show it off we have to pretend it's adorable.
Tattoo fact: The best way to remove a tattoo is with laser surgery. Black is the easiest color to remove while green and yellow are the hardest.
He Must Have A Checkered Past
Nothing says "I'm employed" more than getting a checkers board tattooed on your face. NOTHING. It's subtle, yet exuberant and inviting and screams "I'm approachable" to all on-lookers. He's like a walking optical illusion. I'm not an aging expert by any means, but I cannot see this tattoo aging well.
Tattoo fact: While some companies have relaxed or eliminated policies regarding tattoos, this isn't true for everyone. Walt Disney for example, makes employees cover up any visible tattoos.
Charmander, I Choose You
So this guy was really drunk and decided to get a Charmander tattoo that looks like a weird worm caught on fire. This would be Charmander if he was fully charcoaled and on its deathbed. This Pokemon wouldn't even beat a Ratatat at level two, let's be honest.
Tattoo fact: Tattoos are etched into the dermis, which is the second layer of the skin. The cells of the dermis are more stable than the top layer of skin — the epidermis.
What's More Disturbing?
There's so much going on in this picture, I don't know where to start. I guess I'll start with the butt crack which isn't even the most disturbing part of this picture. His back looks like an elementary school chalkboard after the teacher left the room for five minutes. There's no rhyme or rhythm to what's going on and his motives are in serious question right now.
Tattoo fact: As cosmetic surgery becomes increasingly popular, so do cosmetic tattoos. Cosmetic tattooing includes permanent makeup, skin discoloration corrections, as well as a handful of other enhancements.
Was That MLK Who Said That Quote?
What an interesting quote, I wonder what academic scholar spewed that. It takes a lot of thought to really process this. One has to assume that they meant to have either "don't ever give up" or just simply, "don't give up." Once again, please make sure your tattoo artist has passed grade three English.
Tattoo fact: Tattoo machines have four components — the needle, a tube that holds ink, an electric motor, and a foot pedal.
Wow, there are really no words to describe how this tiger turned out. No really, I don't think there is a word out there that could accurately describe what this tiger looks like. It's a mixture of a Men In Black villain and some other creature with a dislocated jaw. Seriously, there needs to be some reconstructive surgery happening here. It's tragic.
Tattoo fact: The most popular place to get a tattoo? The lower back. The next most popular tattoo locations are the wrist, foot, and ankle.
Just For Clarification
It just seems like being young and having awful tattoo ideas go hand in hand. The problem with tattoos is that they're permanent, so when you're 30 and still have a crappy tribal tat that everyone asks about, you need to have a good answer. This guy just put his answer right underneath so that he doesn't have to answer the embarrassing questions anymore.
Tattoo fact: After a prominent kidnapping in the 30s, many worried parents had their children tattooed so they could be easily identified.
A True Masterpiece
What's great about this tattoo is that it's a talking point. Not one person is going to know what it is, so it's a conversation starter. My guess is that it's some type of alcohol, but it also could be milk from The Great Depression. Either way, the person you're talking to is going to feel bad for you, which is always a good start to a friendship.
Tattoo fact: The earliest tattoos were made with the use of chisels, rakes, and even picks. Sometimes soot-covered thread was sewn through the skin to create a tattoo. Ouch.
Keep Those Calves Warm
Why actually wear argyle socks when you can tattoo them on your body forever and have them apart of every outfit? These are dual purpose too. If you're about to play the bagpipes in a parade these have you covered. Or, if you're just looking for a casual khaki's look, shorts look, or even bathing suit look, voila.
Tattoo fact: Not all skin is the same, which is why tattoo pigment doesn't take as well on some areas of the body. The elbows, knee, knuckles, and feet, for example, don't take tattoo pigment the same and are prone to fading.
Not The Worst Idea
This is an awful tattoo to look at, obviously. But, unlike many of the other tats on this list, this one at least has a practical purpose and has some meaning behind it. This barcode will at least eventually pay off in the long run. How many discounts on double stuffed Oreos can this person get? I'm going to go ahead and say quite a few.
Tattoo fact: When Social Security cards were issued in the mid-30s, people have their numbers tattooed on their arms!
Confusing, But Respectable
Good for this person's mom for not only being there for their kid but also being their angle. That would come in handy when they need a level for putting up pictures. It also raises other questions about this mother, what angle is she? Is she obtuse? Isosceles? Scalene? What angle of her body are we talking about? Good for her, I guess, but we need answers.
Tattoo fact: When it comes to tattoo removal, women are twice as likely to get their tattoos removed than men are.
"Live, Laugh, Picnic Table"
I'll never understand why people decide to get Chinese letters as tattoos. Just because something is in a different language doesn't mean that the word "bliss" is any cooler. Also, people always mess with them. This one says picnic table and I'm sure she wanted to have "Live, Laugh, Love."
Tattoo fact: More women than men have tattoos in the United States. Fifteen percent of Americans have a tattoo (which is about 40 million).
Brrr...It’s Cold in Here
There’s no better way to show how cool you are than displaying your favorite frosty treat on your face. Slushies, ice cream cones, Italian Ice, it all looks cool man. Gucci Mane's lyrics, "Tattoos on my face it's my face not yours" have some serious meaning here, and at least he owns his interesting face tats. The only question here is why he decided on such a poor quality tattoo when he has more than enough money for a better one. Yet, considering his past criminal record and rap lyrics, I don't think anyone is going to be telling him it looks bad anytime soon. Keep doing you, Gucci.
Tattoo fact: The oldest known tattoo to date was found on the body of Otzi the Iceman who was estimated to have lived between 3370 and 3100.
The bad armpit tattoo tradition continues. What happened to leaving some things up to the imagination? And is that an ONION? I wouldn't want to advertise an onion odor anywhere near my pits. Also, I didn't want to go here, but I think that a whole onion tattoo would have at least helped to avoid any misunderstanding of the tattoo at first glance, if you catch my drift. Regardless what the tattoo even is, there's really no explanation for any type of pit tat, especially of the onion variety.
Tattoo fact: In 1891, the first electric tattoo gun was invented and patented by Samuel O'Reilly.
Hot Dog Fonz
The Happy Days reference we get, but what’s with the lack of love for the ketchup bottle? These must be the hot dog purists who believe mustard is the only appropriate condiment for the weenies. I'm sure that at one point in time, this tattoo seemed like a brilliant idea to this hot dog lover, but sometimes you need to think outside of the moment and into the future. is your future wife (if you find one) really going to be okay with you sporting that at the neighborhood pool party, or is it still going to be funny in 20 years? Probably not.
Tattoo fact: Only 5% of Americans have had a tattoo covered up by another tattoo.
Squeeze ‘Em Good
Back at it again with the clever nipple tats! Not only did he get a tattoo of a giant shellfish on him while incorporating his nipple, but he also got a tattoo of one of the ugliest shellfish around. Don't get me wrong, I love a good lobster tail, but I'll pass on having one blasted across my shoulder and chest for life. It also looks as though it could have started out as a giant koi fish, but somewhere along the way, he went, "Wait! Wait! I just got a way better idea!"
Tattoo fact: One of the oldest tattoo ink recipes includes pine bark, corroded bronze, vinegar, vitriol, leek juice, and insect eggs.
Evolution of a Tattoo
The subject matter and tattoo are on the same track…in progress. Darwin himself would be proud of this ink. Perhaps a little confused as to why so many modern humans receive such dumb tattoos though. However, I think he forgot to add himself in between neanderthal and man, right in the spot where people with that amount of brain capacity get tattoos like this.
Tattoo fact: Tattoo is the most misspelled word in the English language. It is often spelled "tatoo".
We’re Done Here
What we have here is what looks like an attempt to re-create a half-erased Etch-A-Sketch drawing. If that's what this woman was going for, I commend her, excellent work. Yet, something tells me that's not what the original plan was. What it really looks like is that she came out of a sever blackout, looked down, and realized she was getting a naked lady tattooed on her arm, freaked out, and the rest is history. Now she's forever stuck with half a naked lady, and lord knows what is even below that, Still, some hipster might find that to be hip these days.
Tattoo fact: In Soviet Russia, some prisoners would get tattoos of Lenin and Stalin because it was illegal for guards to shoot at images of political leaders.
These planes seem to be angry, and dive-bombing down towards something, just not quite sure what. Surely, there's some great meaning behind these two planes forever present on her once clean chest. Her grandfather that she never knew was probably a pilot in World War II, or her boyfriend of four months may just have applied to the Air Force Academy. Aside from the tattoos themselves, the positioning of them is another aspect deserving of discussion. One of the plane wings is disappearing into her left armpit, maybe there's another tattoo under there as well?
Tattoo fact: People from New Zealand are the most tattooed people in the world with most of the still getting original Polynesian designs.
Disclaimer: I Like Hot Dogs
In case you couldn't tell, this girl likes hot dogs. So much, in fact, that she decided to get a classy tattoo of one on the top of her foot. Once again, we have another traditional dog-lover with mustard only because apparently eating hot dogs with ketchup is a heresy. This also means that she can now also be inducted with into the meat lovers tattoo hall-of-fame, alongside the others who have paid the ultimate price to express their love and dedication to questionable meats.
Tattoo facts: The most expensive tattoo in the world was $924,000 with half carat diamonds instead of ink.
Mates For Life
Nothing says true friendship like having three of your best friend's names terribly tattooed on your forearm, even when you can just tell them they're your best friends. It's either that or he had a really hard time remembering their names. one good thing about this tattoo is that it actually looks like it was written in sharpie, so he never really has to explain to everyone that it's a tattoo until they eventually find out. Patsy, Ritchie, and Alice, you've got a dedicated friend right here, hold onto him close, or don't, it's totally up to you.
Tattoo fact: Tattooing was illegal in South Carolina until 2004 and was illegal in 2006 in Oklahoma.
Fairy Tale Imperfection
This scene of a sad-looking fairy is all the more questionable when you take a close look at her crotch. She seems to have one of the most unfortunate-looking bikini lines ever. A wax job might have been in order before she was reproduced permanently onto someone's skin. Not only is this an awkward tattoo, it's simply uncomfortable to look at. Not only is this mythical fairy naked, she appears to be attempting to hide her nudity and doesn't look too happy about her situation. An honestly bizarre thing to put on your body for life.
Tattoo fact: Tattooing is illegal in Iran and the United Emirates.
I enjoy a bit of humor as much as the next guy but really can't help feeling sad for this chick. Even if her current significant other finds this tat amusing, chances are that the next one won't. And it's nothing but a turnoff when you're trying to get busy with someone and end up coming face-to-face with a giant steaming turd, complete with swarming flies? I hope this woman knows that skin grafting is a thing because if I were her, I'd be saving up for an entirely new back.
Tattoo fact: Scott Camble is one of the most expensive tattoo artists. he charges $1,000 for the first hour and only works on weekends.
I really do hope that super lucky girl Nina said yes, or this poor guy has to live with this rejection for the rest of his illiterate life. Hopefully, after she gave him her answer, she took this struggling individual back to finish his GED and maybe brush up on his spelling. I'm also surprised that he didn't provide her with a "yes" and "no" checkbox's which she personally got to fill in with a tattoo gun provided for her. That would have really helped to seal the deal on this beautiful union and make it official.
Tattoo fact: The longest tattoo session on record was 56 hours and 30 minutes. He finished 11 tattoos and rested only 5 minutes after every hour of work.
Wow! This guy looks so hardcore, I'd never want to mess with him! If you come too close he might slap you with one of his fearsome man boobs. But in all seriousness, was there any inspiration behind this tattoo, or did he find the stupidest tattoo in the book and asked to have it blown up onto his chest? We can see his body is riddled with tats, and after seeing his sweet chest piece, I wouldn't mind seeing whatever other lifelong mistakes this poor fella has made.
Tattoo fact: It only takes 3 days for inner lip tattoos to heal and 1-3 years for them to totally disappear.
Don't Do It
I know that Nikes and other sneakers have grown ridiculously expensive, but a tattoo is just not going to give you the athletic support that an actual shoe will. Save the tat money and invest in a pair of real trainers. However, apparently, this guy wants to display his athleticism even when he's not on the court or at the gym, proving that he's always on the grind. Also, this tattoo would only really be appropriate on somebody's body if let's say maybe they started the company or had some sort of personal investment in the Nike brand. But hey, that's just me.
Tattoo fact: In the United States, Miami, Florida has around 24 shops for every 100,000 people. The most tattoo shops in any city in the country.
There's really nothing to be said about this unfortunate decision made by this clearly ignorant and insensitive human being. Is this racist? I at least I think so. I hope she knows that tattoo is more than just a life-long commitment for the ink on her back, but also for her selection in the male population which is probably looking very small for her now, no matter what the race. Although I know this is a saying commonly said as a joke, she clearly took it to heart. have fun explaining that to your children and grandchildren!
Tattoo Fact: The state with the least tattoo shops is Salina, Kansas with 2 tattoo shops every 100,000 people.
Just When You Thought You'd Seen it All
There seem to be a lot of misogynistic tattoos out there, but this one is just over the top. This one makes clever use of this buffoon's armpit and turns it into a Rated X nudie scene. Classy. I hope you got a lot of fist bumps from your bros for this one, dude. I'm sure after you had this baby slapped on you all of the ladies started fighting over you at the club. If worst comes to worst, hopefully, this visual diagram so elegantly tattooed on your arm will help to speed up the process when you have "the talk" with your teenage son. I'm sure you'll make a great father figure someday.
Tattoo fact: Unsanitary tattooing practices can lead to the spreading of syphilis, hepatitis B, and HIV. However, there is yet to be a case of HIV being transmitted yet.
The Best of Chairs
We all have our favorite chairs. They're in the best spot in the house, they're comfortable, maybe even nostalgic at times. Yet this guy loves his chair so much that he decided to commemorate it by getting a tattoo of it. Not everyone's first choice, but certainly an interesting one. When the chair is long gone, it's legacy will live on your arm forever. Hopefully, there is a story behind this chair and has more meaning than this person simply "liked" it or thought it looked cool, so he figured he might as well get a tattoo. Oh, the questions I have.
Tattoo fact: The star logo for Macy's was originally a tattoo that the founder R.H. Macy had on his arm.
As if this person probably hasn't gotten enough grief for this egregious tattoo, I'm going to give them some more. This image is so full of irony it hurts. I don't know whether I hope it was meant to be ironic or it was actually a mistake. Seriously, how hard is it to mess this up? Was this person so set on getting "Plan Ahead" on their hands that they took the loss on the "D", or is this plain and pure stupidity? It's legitimately concerning to me that there are people like this person walking among us on this earth.
Tattoo fact: Vinnie Meyers is a tattoo artist that tattoos nipples onto breast cancer survivors. he is known as "The Michaelangelo of Nipple Tattoos" in Baltimore. Women travel from all over the U.S. for his services.
I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that's a tattoo of a baby's face. At least I hope it is. I wonder what was going through this guys mind when he had the brilliant idea to get this creature-looking child with beady little black eyes on his face. Nothing probably, but that can't be unusual for this person. A nice touch of the tattoo is also how it partially goes onto his earlobe without any real reason to, except to make it look even dumber than it already does. Congratulations on the kid man, good luck with the rest of your life.
Tattoo fact: In ancient times, sometimes soot covered threat would be sewn through the skin in order to create tattoos.
The rednecks are back at it again! Nothing tops off a day at the NASCAR races better than copious amounts of light beer and greasy food. However, I do like this guy's approach to his tattoo. He's totally comfortable with himself and his body, so he's decided to have a little fun with it. Show this tat to any guy at a bar and before you know it you'll have a cold beer in your hand. Clever, tactical and funny. I like this guy. Something tells me he's also been training for years to reach this specific body type so he can get that tattoo.
Tattoo fact: The word tattoo comes from the Polynesian word "ta" which means "to strike", which was the sound of the spike penetrating the skin.