If you've ever had $14 in your bank account and still thought about making a quick trip to Sephora just know you're not alone. Makeup addicts are literally the most savage people on this planet because we'll do absolutely anything for a good beat and a quality Anastasia Beverly Hills highlighter.
These are some brave makeup addicts who are open and honest about being the garbage people that they are, and they're exactly what this beauty community needs. So stop feeling guilty about not washing your beauty blender because who even does that any more? Not me.
When You Have To Shower After The Sephora Trip
Sephora is the only store you can go into and walk out with more free items than products you actually spent your money on.
Too bad the freebies are all on the back of your hand where you can't use them and they'll spend the next two days there.
Dating A Makeup Addict Is Like Dating Two People
Dating a makeup addict is the best two-for-one deal you could hope for. You get a bad-boss lady by night and someone who's always game for a movie marathon by day.
It's the best of both worlds and you're welcome.
"Yeah, Close Enough" — Me After Completely Botching The YouTube Tutorial
These makeup gurus on YouTube are out here completely flexing on us with their skills while we're pausing and rewinding the video ten times just to catch what lip liner they used.
At the end of it, you're so emotionally drained you don't even care if you nailed the "unicorn frappuccino" eye look or not.
Budgeting Is Key Which Is Why I'm Only Spending $70 On Blush This Month
We all know that too much work makes Jack a dull boy, so us makeup lovers make it a point to practice self-care and treat ourselves.
That's why I bought this $120 palette and I'm only eating canned chickpeas this month.
It's What's Inside That Counts
Look, if I'm going to pay $30 for a little sponge you bet I'm going to abuse it until the very end.
If I have to cut it in half to keep getting reuse then that's what has to happen.
We're All Out Here Stunting On Instagram Looking Like Different People
Yeah, we're all catfish on the internet and we're not ashamed to admit it.
These carved cheekbones and flawlessly applied lipstick take time, money, and effort, so let me stunt on Insta and don't look at me while I'm buying cat food at Walgreens, please.
These YouTubers Don't Understand That The Grind Ain't Cheap
We're all out here blending for the love of the game, but some of these YouTubers forget we don't have access to the $300 PR packages that they do.
We'll be over here contouring with our $5 NYX concealer, thank you.
Having To Constantly Explain What Baking Is
When you tell people you'll be ready for a night out in half an hour because you're "baking" they're always confused.
They're also disappointed when you show up to pre-drinks without cupcakes. Sorry everyone, my beautiful face is your consolation.
This Should Be A Crime
This girl's lashes are so long and her eyebrows are so thick that the two have basically joined forces.
The eyelash is literally OFF her eye at this point, and all I'm thinking about is how uncomfortable it must feel.
We Blackout When We Apply Highlighter
Highlighter is marketed as being for the features you want to "stand out," so people usually tell you to stick to the cheekbones, eyebrow bone, nose bridge, and cupid's bow.
But when you're a beautiful goddess who's just spent 3 hours on their makeup, you're going to put it everywhere because you want to stand out, okay?
Hahaha Why Sleep When You Can Buy Concealer?
Concealer puts in a lot of work and we respect it for its energy. What we don't respect is when we spend $45 dollars on Shape Tape and we still have dark circles under our eyes.
These eyebags may be Gucci, but we still want them gone and sleeping just isn't an option.
When The Sephora Total Is Half Your Rent
Walking into Sephora is like walking into Burning Man—you're dazed, you're confused, you just became best friends with the sales associate, and you can't remember where you were 20 minutes ago.
Oh, and you've got way more than that "one thing" you came in for.
Art Is A Process, And This Eye Look Requires Time And Energy
It can be overwhelming figuring out where to begin with your look when every guru tells you to start somewhere else.
They're always arguing whether to do foundation, eyes, or eyebrows first while you're sitting naked on your bed for 45 minutes trying to gather the mental energy to start your day.
We Dread The Hair Dresser For This Very Reason
Everyone knows that after you get a haircut you have to go home and restyle your hair because the hairdresser always does it weird.
What every makeup addict knows is that you're also doing your makeup because they've gotten too spunky with the shampoo and water and now your foundation is gone on your forehead.
Sacrifices Must Be Made
The only thing worse than this is when you drop you pressed powder compact on the floor and it breaks into a million tiny pieces.
The real question though is...did she fish it out and still use it?
That "Long Wear" Foundation Only Lasts When You Don't Want It To
The thing about long-wear makeup is that it's going to melt off your face after only half an hour in the club, but when you're going to bed and you're on your third makeup wipe it's still somehow there.
Thank you, science. Our pillows hate you.
Lemme Just Fix The Wing, Annnnd Now My Whole Eyelid's Black
We all know what it's like to sit down and do a cateye and then absolutely crash and burn. Either the wing looks bad, the two eyes aren't even, or you've started too early on the eye.
It doesn't matter what the problem is, you'll always end up just making your entire lid black.
If Your Lashes Were Mink And $30 You'd Wash Them Too
When you're spending serious coin and using every beauty guru's 10% off discount on those mink Lily Lashes, you're going to take good care of them.
Our small, beautiful caterpillar children are an investment and we're going to protect them.
"Too Much Highlighter" Is A False Statement
Admit it, the first time you discovered highlighter you immediately dipped your entire face in it. This happened the second time too, the third time, and also every other time for the past three years.
We're all just glowing goddesses and we want the space station to know.
When You Think About Makeup So Much That Everything Starts To Look Like It
When makeup's constantly on your mind, the entire world begins to look like it's filled with products.
That sunflower has great pigment, that dirty pothole water would make a great cream eyeshadow, and those raspberries would slay as a blush stick.
Ah Yes, The Psychopaths Of The Beauty World
Biting nails and picking off nail polish that already started to peel is totally normal.
But the people who fully peel off their entire nail of polish are definitely the ostracized group in the makeup community.
"I'm Ready, I'm Coming" Means I'm Still On My Eyebrow Step
The biggest lie every makeup addict tells is that we're either ready, almost ready, or heading out the door.
All of these mean we're either just now getting in the shower or still in bed. Do not trust us, I repeat, do not trust us.
Sometimes We Just Can't Put The Brakes On
Jenna Marbles coined the phrase "too-much gene" for when you don't know when to stop, but makeup lovers everywhere kind of already knew we had it inside of us.
It's that little voice in your head that makes you late for everything, so your friends should stop getting angry because it's genetics, baby.
The Aggressive Arch
If you want an eyebrow that looks like a nike swoosh, just head on over to this microblader.
Honestly, she is FAR too full of herself, because this just looks awful.
We're Great At Prioritizing
We're all high rollers for 20 minutes when we're in Sephora and Ulta. We're throwing major bands in the club because we just don't give a hoot about what it takes to get the perfect beat.
Paying bills is another story.
Here She Is, Here's Our Murderous Queen
It turns out slaying with our makeup looks has been around for centuries. This queen killed hundreds of abusive husbands in 17th-century Italy who wouldn't let their wives divorce them.
She would disguise her poisons by mixing it with makeup and putting it in cosmetic containers, and wives would pour it into their husband's food and drink.
*Slowly Blinks In My Lily Lash Miami Set @ You*
People love to hate on us makeup addicts, but the truth is that their opinions just don't really matter.
Until someone has felt the rush that buying a new Armani gives you they can't talk. Sorry sweetie.
*Sends 17 Selfies Of Different Angles Of The Eye Look To My Bestfriend*
Only a true friend will sit with you and help you decide what makeup look to post on Insta. When they help you decide, they then have to help you pick which angle selfie is the winner.
The kitchen table becomes the war room where you two just hash it out from 38 photos.
It Always Looks Like Trash When We're Actually Trying To Go Somewhere
Your makeup always looks on point when you're just chilling in your room experimenting and always looks like chalky trash whenever you're trying to go somewhere.
It's okay, this is normal. This is why we have Instagram.
Cara Delevingne Really Got Us All Way Into Brows
When the eyebrow trend hit, it hit hard. We saw Cara Delevingne's thicc healthy brows and we ran into Sephora looking for that Anastasia dipbrow without a clue how to do the look.
It's a good thing we all went through those dark years together.
When You Go For "Blended" But It Turns Out "Blink-182"
Nobody warned you when you first got into makeup that every smoky eye you tried for three years would look like you were heading to the local club's emo night.
Hahaha, I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare, right?
When You're Not Close Enough Friends For Them To Tell You That Shade Is Wrong
When we're literally feeling ourselves with our new look, you probably couldn't get a word in any way.
But please, please, if you see a makeup addict in public with the wrong shade of foundation you need to tell her or else she'll go through the entirety of her second year of college looking orange. I'm getting choked up thinking about it.
"You Wear Too Much Makeup" Is Not Valid
When people complain about how much makeup you wear, don't worry, it's only because they're uneducated.
They're uneducated about the glamorous feeling that wearing a rosy blush gives you, and about the fact that your face isn't their face. Wow, what a learning moment.
We're Always Top Tier At The Function
Dress codes are a hard thing to navigate with a makeup lover.
Even though the event is a movie night and technically "very casual" we're still going to show up fully beat and glowing for the Gods. We'll be in sweats though.
When Your Makeup Costs More Than Your Grocery Bill You Treat Them Like Kids
Kids are an investment but so is this set of Morphe brushes I just spent a paycheck on.
These things won't vomit on me, swear at me, and bring me 18 years of financial hardship so... what's better? Just asking.
Improvisation Is The Spice Of Life
Beggars can't be choosers. When you use your entire monthly income on makeup you can't afford white shag rugs.
Luckily, if you have a fat enough cat then that will do.
The Bathroom Is Always A Warzone
Let's face it, the bathroom you do your makeup in is always a mess. Brushes, powders, and liquids everywhere.
Just be happy it isn't as bad as this poor woman who had her foundation explode in a marble bathroom.
Don't Try This At Home
This Redditor explained that they used a Plastic bag to retain heat while bleaching hair,
While doing this, the lettering on the plastic bag permanently marked their hair. Next time, use a plain plastic bag, or go to a salon...
Beauty Is Pain (And Embarrassment)
Kylie Jenner might have made big lips a thing, but I can promise you it's not worth it.
Now this girl has to walk around with hickey lips just because she tried to attain a false sense of beauty.
There Are No Rules Anymore
We've gone too far. Humanity has taken the simple concept of making our brows fleek and extended it beyond what we could ever imagine.
We, as a society, have to go back. (But not as far back at the 2001 pencil-thin brows).
It's Not Worth It
This might seem like a lucrative deal but it really isn't. There's a good chance this woman owns at least 30 brushes.
Shampoo and conditioning that many brushes should be a $100 job minimum.
This One Hits A Little Too Close To Home
It's nice to know at least that while I'm faking it, a lot of other people are too.
If you're been doing the same look but switching to liquid eyeliner when you go out, then you're just like us.
Poor, Poor Nicole
Honestly, this straight-up looks like paint. Why is there SO much of it?
People who wear foundation know that a little goes a LONG way. This poor girl is going to look like an oil painting when the makeup artist is done.
The Ultimate Debate: Liquid Or Powder?
A highlight is supposed to make you look like a dewey goddess that just walked off a tropical island.
Or it can make you look like a strobe light is constantly fixed on your face. Whichever it is, it works.
This Face Is Worth $100
When my mascara costs $30, my concealer costs $25, I'm wearing a $40 liquid lipstick, and my highlighter was $50...
You can bet that I'm not going to let anything make me cry and ruin it.
My Wallet Is So Mad At Me
I have more palettes than I can count and my entire makeup collection takes up all the storage space in my bathroom.
But I also only use the same six products every day.
Pandemic Or Not, I'm Serving
Some people love to complain about having to wear a mask.
But I'm loving the fact that I can put makeup only on my eyes and forehead and still look like a bombshell.
I, Too, Am Sis
I'll wonder why I have such raggedy looking skin when, only five minutes before, I woke up in my bed...
Also still wearing yesterday's makeup after getting home at 5 in the morning.
Seriously, Why Is It So Hard?
I know I'm supposed to wash my brushes at least once a week and blah blah blah.
I would like to pretend I do it, but I wash three brushes and then give up on the rest.
Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
Do I recognize that there is literally no reason to wear lipstick during these times because no one can even see it?
Yes. Am I putting on my favorite shade every day anyway? Also, yes.
If You See Me Wearing Last Night's Makeup, No You Didn't <3
Listen, I don't care if my makeup is smudged so badly that I look like an unholy cross between a circus clown and a raccoon.
Don't bring it up or I'm turning my camera off.
Big Friday Night Plans!
The funny thing is that people in my life don't think that I am really that great with makeup because I never really put it on for going out.
I do it for my solo selfie photoshoot.
She's A Catfish!
Naturally, people see your sister when she's fully put together walking around in the streets.
But you see her on a regular basis before she has her lashes on and without her contour.
The Process Of Every Sephora Order
Of course, the second I get a tracking number for my order, you know I'm clicking the link.
However, they literally send no updates on its movements up until it's already at my door getting rained on.
Eyebrows Really Frame The Face
Although most would say that this is an unusual look, you have to command it for its precision. She mostly mirrored drawing both the left and right eyebrows.
Plus, the smokey eye is well done and that's hard to do.
A Little Photoshop Will Fix It
The issue here is that it's not just the tan that's orange (as that happens to the best of us).
But the contour, the eyeshadow and even the hair elastic are also orange?
If I could be any living being on the planet right now, I would want to be this majestic elegant shiny horse.
How on earth do you get hair or fur to perfectly reflect off the light like that?
From Black Hair To Blonde
Poor hairdressers are often expected to be miracle workers.
It takes several tries to get someone with dark hair blonde, and many hours, and a large amount of product that costs a lot.
When You Thought You Could Do It Yourself
"When it doesn't come out the way you wanted it but at least something in your life has changed."
We've all had our breakdown moment where the only viable solution to fixing all of our problems was dying our hair, right?
It's An Art
Bangs are simply an art you do not get involved in unless you know exactly what you're doing.
The shorter you cut them the harder it is to fix them or hide them and you're just left looking like a mushroom.
Moms Can't Always Do It All
Speaking of bangs, not doing them yourself and having your mom cut them is just as bad.
Leave the bangs to the professionals. YouTube does not count as hair school.
How Many Days Can You Go In A Row With Dry Shampoo
Dry shampoo does a good job of making your hair look clean and not greasy, but the trade-off is that instead, it feels really dry and basically sticks in place wherever you put it.
If it's a bit windy and it goes up, it might just stay there.
The True Self
Once you take away hair, the entire focus goes on your face.
Chances are if you just came out of the shower you don't have makeup on either. Here it is, your true self.
The Beauty Industry In A Nutshell
Can I get an Amen? Because if that's not the truth than I don't know what is.
It's 2020 how come they haven't made a miracle cure for all feminine products yet so we can save our money and only buy one product?