Hilarious British Facebook Page Shows The Random Chaos Only Found On The London “Tube”
If you have spent any time around British people you have probably noticed that they say and do things a little differently. Brits are known to be well-mannered but blunt, sarcastic but hilarious, and proper but chaotic.
All of these characteristics seem to shine the brightest on the London subway system, locally referred to as "the tube." You never know what you might see or overhear on the tube. We rounded up some of the most bizarre encounters to date.
He's just hanging out
This guy probably has a tendency to get hung up on the little things in life. Things like low-hanging cords, door frames, and tree branches for instance.
He may have forgotten to take the hanger out of his jacket but it doesn't seem to be distracting him from the task at hand: napping.
Don't make eye contact
Even if this outfit is for a costume party of some kind it's super off-putting. Why did the movie It have to go and make clowns so terrifying?
There are certainly worse things to encounter in a subway tunnel but the creepy clown ranks pretty high on our list of things we never want to see.
Horror dolls in subway halls
Imagine wandering alone along the train platform late at night while waiting for your train to arrive and encountering these two.
They seem to be a creepy giant-headed version of The Shining twins but their big features don't make them any less eerie. We also can't help but wonder if there's a real cursed baby in that buggy.
Nothing to see here
If these two are aliens in disguise they are not doing the best job of keeping things subtle. But based on the reflection of the giant green frog in the window behind them, it's more likely just an early train to Halloween parties.
Either way, they look truly shocked and horrified to have to ride the tube with a bunch of normies.
A self-help guru
This woman is reading a self-help book titled "How To Sleep Well" but it seems like she may have figured it out on her own.
Either that or the book itself induces drowsiness, in which case the author should be using this picture as marketing to prove the book works.
A well distinguished passenger
Riding in regular transit seats is for peasants and regular citizens. Only elite transit-riders bring their own Victorian-era decorative chairs to ride down the line in.
Just joking, of course. People without cars need to buy and sell furniture as well and nothing is stopping them from hauling it around on the old tube.
They had a busy day being awesome
Give this man a father of the year award and the Queen's crown at the same time because he is rocking that Queen Elsa outfit next to his little Olaf.
Unfortunately, even Elsa and all her magical powers can't beat traffic so sometimes the tube is the way to travel when you need to make it across the Kingdom.
Warning: Death Trap
This "safety warning" is more of a life or death notice that's posted on an electrical box at a train platform.
But don't be fooled, even death doesn't escape the toll collector who will follow a rule-breaker to the other side in order to collect the fine for tampering with their equipment.
Kids ask the most pointed questions
Children may be brutally honest but parents also have their moments of not being able to hold back a harsh truth now and then.
This conversation was overheard on public transit and echoes a weird sentiment that a lot of parents experience: "I had plans before I had kids." Heavy thoughts for a Monday morning commute.
You have been warned
You know it's bad when there is a level-based ranking system for Goose Warnings at the train platform.
One goose caused quite the problem for staff and passengers in the area resulting in a sign being installed by the official Transport for London to warn unsuspecting passengers of the imminent feathered threat.
No bouncing back from that one
In this scenario, the only option remaining would be to jump off the moving train and move towns immediately because how could a person ever recover from something this awkward?
Awkwardly making eye contact with a stranger is one thing— but locking eyes through your reflections feels so much more personal somehow.
Things got crazy at the yoga retreat
When you overhear one part of a conversation without any context it can leave you feeling more intrigued than a good movie trailer.
This person decided to cut someone from a guest list over what he did at a yoga treat— which leaves the question, what the heck went down on that retreat?!
It's always the drunk train if you ride it drunk
Do you know how they say "It's always five o'clock somewhere"? Well, that somewhere is the drunk train flying beneath the city of London.
Regardless of the hour or occasion, there is always at least one person who has had a little bit too much to drink and chosen to take the good old drunk train home.
Buns of literal steel
It's hard to say where this lady has been and where she is going but she seems confident with her decision to bring a naked mannequin on the subway.
The mannequin would be less noticeable if she wasn't cradling its silver buttocks like a 9th-grade boy at a high school dance.
Big Ben has nothing on this dude
It might be his first time in London, England, or he might just be really, really patriotic all the time.
Thanks to people like this London-loving man, gift shops can continue to operate in nearly every corner of England all season long. There is absolutely no shame in his union-jack game.
London knows they are not happy
Anyone crammed into a transit car during rush hour is absolutely not happy and they definitely know it. Most people are counting down the minutes until they can get off and carry on to their destination.
This poor little dude will learn the hard way one day that we don't all spend the day singing with our friends and then riding the fast train home.
Rest in pieces pizza, gone too soon
When the train rocks you to sleep and the drunken slumber finally sets in, all your regular inhibitions are gone.
This girl lost her consciousness and pizza at about the same time and the result is a sad floor pizza. The evidence in the photo suggests she got to enjoy two slices before the whole pie fell victim to the train car floor.
"Hello, weary traveler!"
This happy looking gent is coming from somewhere full of energy and color. If you have any experience with video games you know that this character is here to help you on your journey.
You should probably buy some of his tokens and they will help you in your quest later on.
Karen's sister Dianne prefers to read from a distance
This Facebook mom is not about to miss out on all of the hot drama going down in the comments section just because she has to go to work.
She printed out pages worth of comments from a viral Facebook post and brought it along on the subway to do some light toxic reading.
How's that working out for you?
It's hard to say whether that book is actually about how to make friends on a train, or if he printed out a page and taped it there so that people would know that he's looking to make friends.
Not looking afraid and skeptical of everyone around you would be a good start.
